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Dan Haren


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I apologize if this has already been discussed, but why is this guy still in a Marlins uniform? I thought for sure he would have been gone by now by basically humiliating the organization and himself. It is clear by watching he is disinterested in the team and isn't competing to his full potential. Why don't we get rid of him?

 

 

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Uh Its Another Piazza. Will the real Piazza please stand up. Battle at Winn-Dixie

 

​First Winn Dixie reference of 2015, you win something.

 

​Yes!!! In truth, I just wanted an excuse to bring out that great GIF. But at least it was relevant since we were talking about Piazzas.

 

 

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I apologize if this has already been discussed, but why is this guy still in a Marlins uniform? I thought for sure he would have been gone by now by basically humiliating the organization and himself. It is clear by watching he is disinterested in the team and isn't competing to his full potential. Why don't we get rid of him?

 

Who the FUCK are you?

 

 

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Lets answer the discussion at hand.

 

Does Dan Haren want to be a Marlin? No.

 

Did the Marlins attempt to trade Haren to the west coast? Yes. Did anybody want to give up anything of substance for him? No.

 

Is Dan Haren still a legitimately good #4/5 starter who can help the Marlins in a playoff run given his wealth of experience? Yes.

 

If you've ever seen the movie Little Big League, Dan Haren is basically Mike McGrevey. Yes, that was a Little Big League reference. I could definitely see Dan Haren posting a high 3 ERA for us (more likely low 4 ERA) and giving us close to 200 IP even if he is unhappy. This is in the end a business, not high school baseball where you can quit and transfer to a better school district.

 

 

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If we're really answering the original question... The Haren situation was loaded with question marks and unanswered speculation which was then settled on day one of spring camp and since then Haren has done absolutely nothing that points to him being disinterested nor to be competing at anything less than 100%. He also has done nothing to humiliate himself or the organization. End.

 

 

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Lets answer the discussion at hand.

 

Does Dan Haren want to be a Marlin? No.

 

Did the Marlins attempt to trade Haren to the west coast? Yes. Did anybody want to give up anything of substance for him? No.

 

Is Dan Haren still a legitimately good #4/5 starter who can help the Marlins in a playoff run given his wealth of experience? Yes.

 

If you've ever seen the movie Little Big League, Dan Haren is basically Mike McGrevey. Yes, that was a Little Big League reference. I could definitely see Dan Haren posting a high 3 ERA for us (more likely low 4 ERA) and giving us close to 200 IP even if he is unhappy. This is in the end a business, not high school baseball where you can quit and transfer to a better school district.

 

​Yes, this is all fine and dandy, but I have ... one final thing for you to consider.

 

Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

 

Why would a Wookie, an 8-foot-tall Wookie, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: what does this have to do with Dan Haren? Nothing. It has nothing to do with Dan Haren!

 

Look at me, I'm a moderator talking about Dan Haren, and I'm talking about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making sense! None of this makes sense! So you have to remember, as Haren was in his room deliberatin' and conjugatin' his contract situation, does it make sense? NO!

 

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, Haren must play for Miami!

 

The Bender rests.

 

 

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I had heard that Chewbacca had originally told Han Solo he had no plans to ever leave Kashyyk and that he would consider retiring from space smuggling if he ever left. The day Chewie gave his life debt to Han, they actually tried to work out a deal to get Chewie traded back to a space pilot on the West Coast of Kashyyk but no one would accept the deal. Eventually Chewbacca discussed it with his family and decided to be a team player and continue flying alongside Han Solo.

 

One of my news droids actually told me he heard that the Kashyyk government would even be sending money to Han to cover Chewies salaries and expenses.

 

Even then I still think Han gave up too much to get Chewbacca although he probably did it moreso because he really wanted that speedy little Ewok who came with him. I heard that thing is so fast he can steal the cargo off a freight cruiser faster than anyone in the galaxy and actually did so over 60 times last year!

 

Rumors even say that Darth Vader insists that that speedy little Ewok would actually marry Princess Leia!

 

 

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If you've ever seen the movie Little Big League, Dan Haren is basically Mike McGrevey. Yes, that was a Little Big League reference. I could definitely see Dan Haren posting a high 3 ERA for us (more likely low 4 ERA) and giving us close to 200 IP even if he is unhappy. This is in the end a business, not high school baseball where you can quit and transfer to a better school district.

 

"Hey, Mac, what's the going rate for an absent-minded pitcher who can't get anybody out?"​

 

Also of note from that movie, a minor subplot involving pornography in something with a PG-Rating. "Another victim of the Night Nurses from Jersey."

 

 

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