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phoenix

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  1. Granted, but now you have no money and live in a cardboard box in the ghettos of Paraguay I wish all my Christmas shopping was done Granted, but it was all done at the dollar store and everyone hates you for it. I wish I could heal myself. Granted, but then you are the victim of a drive-by shooting in Century Village in Pembroke Pines. I wish I met Brad Pitt.
  2. the man frantically ran down the aisle of the Boeing 757 while his wife tried to explain that he was mentally ill and had not taken his medication. So, if you know your husband is mentally ill and hasn't taken his medication, why the hell would you let him near an airport????
  3. Stupid people. People who don't know when school zones begin and end. They just drive 15 miles an hour, no matter what time it is. People who drive in the right of way in order to get around traffic- especially on the Palmetto Expressway in the morning getting off at Miami Lakes Drive- I've almost been in three accidents because people come speeding up the right of way and then whiz by me while I'm getting into the legal turn lane. Being discourteous
  4. I laughed so hard, I cried! Thanks for the chuckles!!!
  5. Return safely to us so we can keep talking about the Marlins. wherever they might be......
  6. This is cool: Birthday calculator
  7. I bet his bandages will impress all the he/shes in jail......
  8. "We didn't start the fire" during sex! (Billy Joel) OMG LOL!!!
  9. We might get some squally weather, but that's about it. The system is very disorganized with little chance for strengthening before it gets caught up in the approaching front. I hear ya, but I also heard Don Noe say that we have nothing to worry about because Gamma would die. This is so stressful. If this does hit us Monday do you think schools will be closed? I was listening to the radio yesterday and they said schools might be closed Miami-Dade County Public Schools Tropical Storm Information Friday, November 18th At 4:00 p.m., Friday, November 18th, the National Hurricane Center announced that Tropical Storm Gamma had formed in the western Caribbean Sea near the coast of Honduras. Maximum sustained winds are currently 40 MPH and rapid intensification is not anticipated. The initial forecast track indicates that Gamma may affect South Florida on Monday, primarily as a rain event. District Emergency Management staff are in contact with the Miami-Dade Office of Emergency Management to determine the timing of any planned precautionary measures or public statements. We will continue to monitor the progress of this storm and issue an update as needed. There is nothing to indicate that schools will be closed Monday. I just went to the www.dadeschools.net website and there is no update as of now. It's really a wait and see. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :blink: My second thought is, "How do you make a turkey on a BBQ grille?" :mischief2 Oh Geez- I'm not ready for another one. The sad fact is that even, at best, if we get heavy rain and some wind, that could be all some of the homes need to topple more trees and cause more roof damage. I don't think that anyone in South Florida will be able to get homeowner's insurance ever again. :confused
  10. phoenix

    Dancing

    A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together." "Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately." "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?" "No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden." "Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?" "Of course!," replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have children!" "What about different positions?" asks the man? "No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!" "Woman on top?" the man asks. "Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!" "From behind with my wife on her knees?" "Sure! Another mitzvah!" "On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes! A mitzvah!" "Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a sex video?" "You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!" "Can we do it standing up?" "No." says the rabbi. "Why not?" asks the man. "Could lead to dancing."
  11. Wow! I'm surprised something like this wasn't on the news.
  12. Please come to http://www.FutureReady.org/school/?pid=05101336 and cast your vote for BOB GRAHAM EDUCATION CENTER. If our school gets the most votes, we will win a Mobile Computer Lab from Dell, Microsoft and Intel. Think of how great that would be. Just click on the link and follow the instructions. Thanks! Please vote often and forward to everyone you know. I really appreciate your help! Phoenix :thumbup
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