LordMagnus

Might actually be a better product on the field.

Lol @ rebuild. It's not a rebuild, they're simply not interested in winning. I'm done with so called rebuilds that never end in anything but the owner pocketing money. I'm so glad I canceled my MLB.tv subscription. I am not going to watch a single game this year and I am starting to consider abandoning this franchise altogether. I've been a fan since I was young in the 90s and if I had a time machine I'd go back and slap the shit out of my younger self for picking this pathetic piece of shit franchise. The only hope is to either get a new owner or MLB forces them to stop with the fire sale bullshit. But that's not gonna happen. This franchise has really soured me on baseball as a whole. Fuck Bruce Sherman and fuck the Miami Marlins for even existing.

The punishment seems more like hazing to me. If Jazz was constantly sleeping in the clubhouse and having to be woken up, that's one thing. However, if this is a one time thing that happened, its definitely just the veterans trying to flex on the young players instead of actually helping them. Toxic tit for tat behavior does not improve clubhouse cohesion.

If we do, he'll probably be traded during the season.

Even though spring doesn't mean much, I hope Dane Meyers gets a real shot, because guys like DLC aren't that impressive to begin with.

Just stop. The Marlins are not interested in being competitive this year. They aren't signing anyone else.

Ohhhh look at me. I'm a Cardinals fan who somehow knows every Marlins fan in existence and can easily quantify their opinions.

I think I remember a lot of people on this board saying they should sign another pitcher. Not like anyone thought it would actually happen though.

Is AJ Puk being turned into a starter? I must have missed something.

Why, is your mom going to walk by?

The moon isn't real. The moon can't hurt you. The moon:

A young athlete like that probably thinks they can eat whatever they want as long as they get in all the work outs and trainings they need. I don't know his workout routine so I can't comment on that.

And I'll surge my money elsewhere.

Yeah well he's Tristian Gray not Christian Gray so we're covered. And call it 51 Shades and they wont be able to sue.

Tristian Gray needs to make the team just so they can do a 50 Shades Night at the ball park.

The new Segura?

He was an all star two years ago. Last year was odd for sure. He's only 30. He's going to be bad defensively though.

About as likely as a shrooms night at the park

When Gozer the destroyer pitches for the Marlins

Can't wait for yoga pants uniforms

Name the time and place

No moves made. TawainMarlins is sleeping peacefully in his bed, when KLAXON ALARMS begin to LOUDLY WAIL and STROBE POLICE LIGHTS on his wall begin flashing! Is it? Is this the day? TawainMarlins leaps out of bed, and simultaneously a Marlins robe lands gracefully on his naked boy. With the rage of a thousand suns, he grasps a fireman's pole installed into his bed room and grips it firmly. He descends into a hole in the floor until he reaches the bottom of the pole, and a pole shaped red mark is ingrained upon the length of him. At the bottom of the pole, he lands upon a soft chair, and swivels around toward a lit computer screen. As KLAXONS continue to blare, he opens the notoriously vagrant infested website marlinsbaseball.com. This is finally the day, the day the Marlins have signed a free agent, he mutters to himself. A new thread appears on the forums, with users already posting hot and heavy. He then reads the thread title. MARLINS HIRE NEW ASSISTANT COFFEE MAKER. THE ASSISTANT WILL GURGLE COFFEE BEANS AND SPIT OUT BREWED COFFEE. He cannot believe his eyes. The furious rage of a thousand suns boil up inside of him. He grabs the pole that he slid down and snaps it into two pieces. The ceiling starts to collapse around him. Ignoring the falling of his house around him, he angrily types broken sentences of pure unfiltered ire about the Marlins front office. As the house crumbles around him, things go dark. Suddenly, he is startled awake, lying in his bed somehow. POLICE STROBE lights flash around him. Then the panic sets in. He is trapped. Forever.

He just woke up from his nap and had no clue what was going on. Poor guy.

Something something Cardinals