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A year in the life of a Blonde

yenta

Muckdog
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A Blonde's Year in Review.>

>January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
>
>February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....>
> Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
>
>March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
> box said "2-4 years!"
>
>April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!!
>
>May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
>
>June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>
>July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
>the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
>
>August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm>
car swamped because soft-top was open.
>
>September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
>
>October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
>
>November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
>
>December - Couldn't call 911 ... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
> --------
>EXPOSURE
>
>A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.>
>A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could>cite you for indecent exposure?">
>She says, "Why, officer?">
>"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
>
>She looks down and says, "OH MY G__, I left the baby on the bus again!"
> --------
>THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR>
>A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond>female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
>
>She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.>
> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and>again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she>went.
>
>As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
>
>Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?">
>To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
>
>(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
>
>My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL
 

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