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Jewish Q and A

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Jewish Q and A

Q: What is a Jewish menage-a-trois?
A: Two headaches and a hard-on.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Q. How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?
A. She has a headache with the postman.

Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours.

Q: What is a Jewish nymphomaniac?
A: A wife who does her hair and sleeps with her husband on the same day.

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?
A: They put them in the car.

Q: What does a Jewish husband call a water bed?
A: The Dead Sea

Q: Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
A: Netanyahoo

Q: What's the name of the face lotion made especially for Jewish women?
A: Oil of Oy Vay

Q: What's the title of a horror film for Jewish women?
A: Debby Does Dishes

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A: Plaintiff

Q: In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become human?
A: When it is accepted into medical school

Q What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long ?
A: Nothing at all

Q: Define "genius"
A: An average student with a Jewish mother

Q: Why did the mohel retire?
A: He just couldn't cut it anymore

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coat

Q: What do you call someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: A meshuggener

Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?
A: The tip of the iceberg

Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman?
A: A Mercedes Benz 500SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never
forget what she forgave."

One of life's mysteries - how a 2 lb. box of chocolates can make a
Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something
in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about
nothing and then they marry him.

A Bar mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize
that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play
for one.
 

Mauer7

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A Bar mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize
that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play
for one.
very true. heh.
 

yenta

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Jewish Q and A


Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours.



Yup! :thumbup
 

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