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Quail Roose?


Aug 23, 2002
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This is a true story....sent to me by one of my sisters on something that happened to her last night.


Okay, so please allow me to vent, share my feelings and hide the annoyance and utter frustration admist the humor in my story. I am really not that mad (anymore) but I still think that with proper delivery, this story could make it to "Inside Edition" or "Extra Extra."

So it's good Friday today. I had a chill day with the momz and the sista in the morning, went on a shopping spree in Publix (mom's mistake for taking me with her to do grocery shopping), came home, watched the telly, and then went to have a lcocktail or two with an old friend and this guy I know. Very nice evening.

After two drinks and shooting the s*** for a while with my old pal, my male friend and I decided to have a chill night and just catch a flick back at his house. So we rented the Oscar winning film starring 5 time Golden Globe nominee, Eminem titled "8 Mile." (note: please note the sarcasm). The movie was over by 2 a.m. (pretty reasonable time) and I was ready to call it night.

People, do YOU THINK I called it a night??

If you answered "No! OF course not!!" then keep reading. If you said YES, then peace out!! Close this email and read no more b/c you don't know me at all!! :)

NOOOOOO!! Of course I did not call it a night. I decided I would meet up with my friend "Panchita" (note: names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved) at another friends going away party. Well, when I left my male friends house, Panchita did not pick up her phone so I was like "kool. home it is!!" Turns out, Panchita calls me right back and tells me that she got to our friends house and asked me to please pass by at least for a few minutes. So I did. I was exhausted, really wanted to go home, but I thought "ah...what the hell!! What could possibly happen in 5 minutes"

And now my friends, the story begins:

I get to this little jammy jam and Panchita was there with her boyfriend Panchito, who is now president of the very popular greek organization "Sucka Lotta Chambelona", and Panchitos friend Ponchoto. When I pulled into the hood, Panchita entered my vehicle and proceeded to help me look for parking. Well, I didn't exactly park in a "parking spot." Technically, yes..it was a parking spot b.c it was the spot in which I was parking, however, I am sure you all know what I mean.

I thought, eeehhhh!! What the hell!!! WHAT THE PHUCK CAN HAPPEN IN 5 MINUTES!! There weren't any signs, nothing...My plan was IN and OUT. Say hi, and get home before I pass out. HA! Too easy my friends.............to EASY!

I get in the house, was in there a total of maybe 2 minutes and 33 seconds when I hear someone say "hey, they're about to tow a GREY TOYOTA!" I thought to myself: "MAN THAT PHUCKEN SUCKS FOR WHOEVER DRIVES A GREY TOYOTA. GOOD THING MOM AND DAD BOUGHT ME A GREY NISSAN!!"

So I was there maybe 15 more seconds when someone said it again only this time they added that the car was parked right across the street by the side. And I thought to myself "hmmmmmmmmmmm...I'm parked right across the street by the side."

Well, my friends. Whoever made the announcement obviously doesn't know their a** from their elbow b/c the a**holes doing the towing were not towing a GREY TOYOTA they were of course towing a GREY NISSAN 240 sx, a.k.a BULLIT, a.k.a MY PHUCKING CAR!!!!!

Those towing bastards are quicker than lightning and made my car dissapear quicker than a thong dissapearing up a sumo wrestler's a**!!! The gig was up! My car was gone and their wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Panchita, Panchito, Ponchoto and I found another car that was being towed and we attempted speak to the drivers of the towing company. I was really niiiice despite my unpredictable anger management problem, but those beef jerky eating red necks only cared about making $88.00 off a defensless, extremely good looking, 23 yr old BROKE a** college girl!! (namely ME, for those of you who weren't able to follow along with that description).

God bless the Pancho gang who was with me the entire time and took me to pick up my car alllllll the way on the other side of the world!! All I can say is there were Popeye's chicken and mom and pop gas stations (worse than camping) and it was somewhere near QUAIL ROOSE DRIVE...you know the place right? ........Right between BUTT PHUCK EGYPT and THE END OF THE WORLD.

So yes kids thats my story. Bullit and I are together again with the help of the PANCHO's who bailed him out of that hell whole towing jail before someone made him drop his soap and bend over in the shower.

Two things I learned from this story (well I already knew this but it was re-affirmed);

1. FOLLOW your gut!!
2. Whenever you hear someone yelling that a car is being towed even if it doesn't match your description, GO CHECK ON IT!!!!!

It's been real. I'm going to bed. Sorry that it was so long. Thanks for making it this far. You've been great. Comments and feedback always welcome!!

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