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Simpsons Quote Thread

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Post Simpsons Quotes here, let's make this a memorable thread.

I'll start it off:

"We have a kitchen?!?" - Homer
 

Joe

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The Simpsons.... Music Writers :plain
 

83Gator

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Here's a few that I remember:

Homer: "Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer."

In a flashback episode to when Bart is born, Homer's trying to figure if Bart would be a good name by making sure it can't be rhymed with anything that can be used to tease the boy: "Bart, Cart, Dart, Eart... Nope, can't see any problem with that!"

Same episode, Homer: "As long as he's got eight fingers and eight toes..."

And in honor of our Football Picking pool, Lisa Simpson (explaining her method for picking winners in NFL games): "Well, I like the 49ers because they're pure of heart, Seattle because they've got something to prove, and the Raiders because they cheat."

Here's a link to lots of Simpson quotes ...
http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0096697
 

RVD_HBK

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Homer: If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

Homer: Marge, I'm bored.
Marge: Why don't you read something?
Homer: Because I'm trying to reduce my boredom.

Homer: Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.

Homer: Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids....eat them.

Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad.
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Bart and Lisa: Yes.
Homer: All right then.

Mr. Burns: Somebody up there likes me.
Smithers: Somebody down here likes you too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Shut up.
 

DurableTear

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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.




Grampa Simpson: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Grampa Simpson: Flu?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes. But please, don't you say that word!
Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.




Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.
Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?
Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.
Lou: But you know, its the little differences.
Chief Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?
Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages?
Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.'
Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.




:lol :w00t
 

Sparky

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Seperate Qoutes
Homer: "They have the internet on computers now?"

Ralph: "Me Fail English Thats Umpossible".

When I get some time ill add some more here... :p

-Sparky
 
J

Juanky

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"Welcome to the internet my friend!' -Homer

"I would like to optomize my 56k modem to a T1 fiberoptic line." -The comic book guy
"Can I have money now?" -Homer
 

FutureGM

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Barney- "Homer, hurry up, we're going to be late for English!"
Homer- "Why do I need to learn English? I'm never going to ENGLAND."

Homer- "Animals are crapping in our homes and we're cleaning it up. Did we lose a war? That's not America! That's not even MEXICO."

Homer- "So, does anybody want to guess how I got the money?"
Bart- "Drugs."
Lisa- "Drugs."
Marge- "I'd have to say drugs too."
Homer- "Close, but you're WAY off."

George Washington- "We had cowards in the Revolution too. We called them Kentuckians."

Homer- "I want to set the record straight. I THOUGHT the cop was a PROSTITUTE."
 

Ramp

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[After Homer runs over a deer]
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: A deer!
Lisa: A female deer!
---
Bart: You lie like a fly with a booger in its eye.
Homer: [laughing] The fly was funny, but the booger was the icing on the cake!
---
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!
 

g8trz2003

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i may get this one kinda wrong

Ms. Hoover: Ralph, where's your blue crayon?
Ralph: I ate it.


Ralph: Ms. Hoover, a worm crawled in my mouth....and I ate it.

Ralph: Ms. Hoover, I bent my wookie.

Ralph: I ate the red berries! They taste like burning!
 

JBurque

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Homer, after he walks thru his wall into a 3D universe


"I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am"
 

Wild Card

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Abe Simpson and Mr. Burns--

Abe: "I did it! I'm the Limburgh baby! Googoo gaga, baby did a boom boom!"

Burns: "Are you stalling, or are you just senile?"

Abe: "A little from column A a little from column B."
 
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I got one, but its from Ren & Stimpy because I dont get around to watching simpsons much..


stimpy: ---does something stupid---

Ren: YOU IDIOOOOOOTTTTTTT
 
G

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Homer: Ok, we need 40,000 dollars. How much do we have in the checkbook?
Marge: 70 dollars.
Homer: Have we deposited any 40,000 dollar checks that haven't cleared yet?
Marge: No.
 
M

Moneyball

Guest
Homer: Hmmmmm.......free goo.

------

Homer: Are you Darryl Strawberry?
Darryl: Yes
Homer: You play rightfield?
Darryl: Yes
Homer: Are you better than me?
Darryl: Well, I don't know you but.......yes.

------

Marge: Homer the plant called and said if you don't plan on coming in today don't plan on coming in on Monday.
Homer: Yoohoo! Four-day weekend.

------

*at media circus*
Kent Brockman: Here comes Fox News.

*We are the champions blaring*
*Bush-Cheney 2004 banner on truck*
 

Expos Ranchod

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Homer: ''Let this be a lesson for you Lisa, never help anybody.''

~~

Ralph: ''my cat's breath smells like cat food.''

~~

Mr Burns: ''oooh the Germans are mad at me. Ohh I am so scared.'' (or something like that)

~~

Homer: ''20 dollars? but I wanted a peanut.''

Brain: ''20 dollars can buy many peanuts.''

Homer: ''Explain.''

Brain: ''Money can be exchanged for goods and services.''

(homer proceeds to slide on the peanut and the 20 $ escapes by the open window.


~~

Stockmarket guy: ''Just a sec, let me check my computer.'' (looks at newspaper)

''if you sell now you can make 25 $''

Homer: ''SELL SELL SELL! 25$ !!! '' (dreams about car wash, a hair cut and getting a new hammer :lol )

later in that episode

Homer: hey hey

Marge: we heard about the news! we have so many things planned

Homer: hehe, so did I, I spent it all on beer

Patty and Selma: surprise surprise

Marge: You spent 5200 $ ON BEER!?!

Homer: 5200 $?

(goes to the TV)

Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I sold it all for 25$ !

Bart kicks homer into the TV. :lol
 

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