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Vin Diesel facts


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Vin Diesel fact generator

Chuck Norris fact generator

Mr. T fact generator

 

This is some hilareous stuff

 

Some samples:

Vin Diesel:

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. f*** you, team.

 

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

 

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

 

Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

 

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

 

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

 

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's sh*t.

 

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

 

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

 

Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

 

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

 

When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

 

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

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Chuck Norris:

 

 

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

 

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

 

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

 

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

 

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

 

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

 

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

 

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

 

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

 

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

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Mr. T:

 

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

 

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

 

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

 

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth sh*t itself and created Scotland.

 

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

 

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

 

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

 

Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.

 

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

 

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

 

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

 

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

 

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

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The rest of the "facts" are hilareous. If in for a good laugh, check these sites out.

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