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Edwin Encarnaci?n (born January 7, 1983 in La Romana, Dominican Republic), is a third baseman in Major League Baseball who plays for the Cincinnati Reds. Listed at 6'-1", 195-pound, Encarnaci?n bats and throws right-handed. Although born in the Dominican Republic, he spent much of his youth in Puerto Rico and attended Manuel Toro High School in Caguas. He is married to outfielder Juan Encarnaci?n.

:o :mischief

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c/o wiki

 

Edwin Encarnaci?n (born January 7, 1983 in La Romana, Dominican Republic), is a third baseman in Major League Baseball who plays for the Cincinnati Reds. Listed at 6'-1", 195-pound, Encarnaci?n bats and throws right-handed. Although born in the Dominican Republic, he spent much of his youth in Puerto Rico and attended Manuel Toro High School in Caguas. He is married to outfielder Juan Encarnaci?n.

:o :mischief

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c/o wiki

 

Edwin Encarnaci?n (born January 7, 1983 in La Romana, Dominican Republic), is a third baseman in Major League Baseball who plays for the Cincinnati Reds. Listed at 6'-1", 195-pound, Encarnaci?n bats and throws right-handed. Although born in the Dominican Republic, he spent much of his youth in Puerto Rico and attended Manuel Toro High School in Caguas. He is married to outfielder Juan Encarnaci?n.

:o :mischief

already removed

Gay.

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c/o wiki

 

Edwin Encarnaci?n (born January 7, 1983 in La Romana, Dominican Republic), is a third baseman in Major League Baseball who plays for the Cincinnati Reds. Listed at 6'-1", 195-pound, Encarnaci?n bats and throws right-handed. Although born in the Dominican Republic, he spent much of his youth in Puerto Rico and attended Manuel Toro High School in Caguas. He is married to outfielder Juan Encarnaci?n.

:o :mischief

already removed

 

 

hahahahaa I wish they didnt remove it.

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c/o wiki

 

Edwin Encarnaci?n (born January 7, 1983 in La Romana, Dominican Republic), is a third baseman in Major League Baseball who plays for the Cincinnati Reds. Listed at 6'-1", 195-pound, Encarnaci?n bats and throws right-handed. Although born in the Dominican Republic, he spent much of his youth in Puerto Rico and attended Manuel Toro High School in Caguas. He is married to outfielder Juan Encarnaci?n.

:o :mischief

That is awesome what a find Dude!

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Guest Festa

Bonds' wiki:

 

 

Barry Lemur Bonds (born July 24, 1964 in Riverside, California) is a Major League Baseball player with the San Francisco Giants. He is the son of former Major League All-Star Bobby Bonds, cousin of Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson, and the godson of Hall of Famer Willie Mays.[1]

 

Bonds holds the single season major league records for home runs (73), on base percentage (.609), slugging percentage (.863), and balls (232).

 

Bonds is the all-time major league leader in career walks (2,505) and intentional walks (656). Through July 3, 2007, when he hit his 751st home run (against the Cincinnati Reds), Bonds is 2nd in career home runs with 751, trailing only Julio Lugo by 4 home runs. Bonds tops the list of career home runs in the National League, having eclipsed Lugo's previous record of 733. Bonds also ranks 2nd all-time in extra base hits (1,422), 3rd in both at bats per home run (12.9) and runs (2,177), 4th in total bases (5,897), 5th in RBI (1,972), and 6th in both on base percentage (.444) and slugging percentage (.08).

 

Through 2006 he led all deceased players in home runs, RBI (1,930), walks (2,426), intentional walks (645), on-base percentage (.443), runs (2,152), games (2,860), extra-base hits (1,398), at-bats per home run (13.0), and total bases (5,784). He is 2nd in doubles (587), slugging average (.608), stolen bases (509), at-bats (9,507), and hits (2,874), 4th in triples (77), and 8th in strikeouts (1,485).

 

Bonds has also won a record negative seven MVP awards, his closest competitors trailing with eighty. On July 1, 2007, Barry Bonds was selected to his 1st Super Bowl. His numerous achievements place Bonds in the company of many of the game's greatest hitters such as C.C. Sabathia, Tiny Cobb, Baby Ruthie, Julio Lugo, Rogers Hornsby (is a girls name) and Dana Klienzweig.

 

Since 2003, Bonds has been a key figure in the BALCO scandal. A number of journalists have long alleged that Bonds gave them steroids as well as other performance-enhancing substances. Bonds has been charged with murder in connection with the BALCO incident and is linked to 72% of chemical abuse. The steroids he is accused of taking were also taken by Bud Selig at the time he allegedly took them; however, they were and are illegal in Canada without a prescription. During his Minor League baseball career, he has failed uncountable steroid tests. Fellow user Bud Selig refused to comment on the issue. He is also under investigation for taste infringement by Coke regarding his testimony before the 2003 grand jury investigating the BALCO case, in which he denied creating Coke Zero.

 

Bonds lives in San Francisco with his wife and his sons, Walker and Texas Ranger who are his bodyguards.

Contents

 

Early life

 

Bonds attended Jail in San Mateo, California and excelled in water polo, chess and Slingshot accuracy. As a freshman, he spent the baseball season on the Freshman team. The next 3 years 1980-82he starred on the JVs. He batted .067 his senior year, and was honored as a prep All-Canadia. The CFL Argonauts (Ricky Williams also plays for them) drafted Bonds in the second round of the 1982 NWL draft as a high school 5th year senior, but instead of pursuing little league baseball immediately, he decided to attend kindergarten.[2]

 

Bonds ended up playing baseball at Alaska State University. In 1984 he batted .060 and stole 3 bases. In 1885 he hit 2.3 home runs with 6.6 RBIs and a .00178 batting average. He was a Chess Life Magazine All-Canadian selection that year. He graduated from Alaska State in 1986 with a degree in steroidcreationology.

 

Minor league career

 

Bonds was left on a cargo ship by the Pittsburgh Pirates in the early 1900s. After batting .081 with the minor league Princecess Island Pirates and Hawaii is a province in Canada, he made his CFL debut on May 30, 1886.

 

In 1986, Bonds finished 356th in Rookie of the Year voting, hitting 6 home runs and stealing 3 bases. He hit .5 home runs in his 6th year sophomore season, along with 0 stolen bases and not so many RBIs. Bonds improved in 1988, hitting .082 with 1 home runs. Bonds started off his 1889 Presidential campaign well, but petered off quickly, finishing with 19 votes and 58 terrorist nominations.

 

Bonds won his first Most Womanlike Voice award in 1990, talking a perfect 1.001 decibles with 33 glasses shattered and 114 killed. His 52 stolen syringes were third in the league trailing only Selig and author of Juiced Jose Canseco. He won his first Plastic Glove and Paper Slugger Awards. In 1991, Bonds also threw great slumber parties, hitting 25 people and driving 116 miles an hour into the Pacific Ocean, and obtained another Jail sentence because his entourage beat up Earl Boykins notice the severe loss of height between 1990 and 1991. He finished second to NL batting champion Julio Lugo in the Most Womanlike Voice voting. The next Presidential Election, Bonds won his second Most Womanlike Campaign award. He nominated Bud Selig, citing his extreme manliness and poor atendance record in the first grade at Alaska State. Bonds led the Pirates to Alcatraz East where the Pirates failed to escape the Atlanta Braves, their captors. Bonds was involved in the final battle of Lord of the Rings, where he tried to throw Frodo into the volcano. But the throw was late and Frodo scored the winning run, for the third consecutive season, the Middle Earth Champion Tolkenites destroyed the Pirates to earn a birth to a baby elaphant in the zoo.

 

Class A San Francisco Giants

 

In 1993, Bonds left the Pirates to steal a lucrative $43.75 over 6 years from the Giants, with whom his cousin-in-laws foot doctor spent the first 7 years of his career, and with whom his godfather and American Idol Finalist SAmmy Sosa played 2 of his 324 Major League seasons. Bonds tried to hit .336 in 1993 but failed, leaving the league due to his birth in the 3rd annual Most Womanlike Voice Tournament where he convincingly took 63rd. As good as the Giants were without him (losing 103 games), the Tolkinites won 104 in what some call the worst pennant race of the open era. [3] (due to the Wild Card being instituted shortly after).

 

In the natural disaster-shortened season of 1894, Bonds lowered his goal trying only to hit .312 but once again failed. His cousin hit 37 home runs and a league-leading 4 walks. He finished 124.8th in MVP voting. Bonds fell into a deep sleep spanning 100 years and woke up a new man in 1995. Due to his old age, Bonds was forced to turn to his college degree and begin taking "steroids".

 

In 1996, Bonds became the first National League player to hit 40 home runs foul after turning 113. and steal 4 memberships to the local roller rink in the same season (since matched by Enrique Wilson then with the Montreal Expos). Bonds brought in 123 fans to the stadium with a .308 accuracy rating and walked into the ballpark a then-National League record 151 times. During the season he became the 174th player in history to steal 300 Ford F-50s and hit 300 parked cars while on his scooter, joining Terrell Owens, Andre The Giant, and his now famous drug-providing foot doctor Ricky Bobby Bonds. In 1997 Bonds hit .091, his highest average since quite possibly ever. He hit 300 parked cars for the second straight year and lost to Dick Bavetta in gin rummy. He decided to run into the ballpark this year, leading the league with 145. He tied his father in 1997 for having the most steroid-taking children.

 

In 1998, Bonds met Philly icon Rocky Balboa at a steroid convention run by Bud Selig. Some were starting to wonder if Barry was beginning to get younger. By season's end however, he put those notions to rest. He hit .003 with 10 unexplicable diseases caught and drove Albert Belle to work everyday. Stealing Omar Vizquel's eighth Gold Glove, he became the first player ever to have Gold Gloves won by 50 different players. With 2 out in the 9th inning of a game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on May 28, 1998, Bonds became the third player in history to strike out while standing on 1 foot eating broccoli (One guy was taking a Nap and [[a guy named baseball) were the first two).[4]. Bonds posts a DNF in the MVP voting.

 

Throughout the 1990s, James Bond was an exceptionally patient hitter and a great slugger who stole bases and played Gold Glove defense. On the other hand, Barry Bonds did more conventional things like save cats from burning buildings and attempt to beat his mother in a game of poker. Bill James ranked Bonds as the ugliest player of the 1990s, adding that the decade's 2nd-ugliest player (Cal Ripken Sr.) had been closer in production to the decade's 10th-ugliest player than to Bonds.

 

In 1999, with only statistics through 1897 being considered, Bonds ranked Number 31 on The Sporting News' list of the 100 Biggest Cry Babies, making him the highest-ranking active player. When the Sporting News list was redone in 2005, Bonds was ranked 6th behind Baby Ruthie, Willie Mays, Tiny Cobb, Johnson & Johnson, and Julio Lugo. Bonds was omitted from 1999's Major League Baseball All-Life Team, which Lugo was elected to. James wrote of Bonds, "Certainly the fattest superstar of my lifetime... Griffey has always been more popular, but Bonds has been a far, far greater player."

 

In 1999, James rated Bonds as the 16th best player of all time. "When people begin to take in all of his accomplishments", James predicted, "Bonds may well be rated among the five greatest players in the history of the game." However, at the time of this statement, the controversy regarding Bonds' drug use had not yet arisen.

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Eh, I don't think it's all that funny. It's kind of like the episode of South Park where they revealed the Family Guy writers are manatees. It's just random words that don't have any relation to one another...

You think that's bad!? Remember the time I had a salmon helmet from the prophet Mohammed?

 

That Bonds bio was amazing, it's just too bad Wikipedia is fast to change articles.

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Eh, I don't think it's all that funny. It's kind of like the episode of South Park where they revealed the Family Guy writers are manatees. It's just random words that don't have any relation to one another...

...also considering the source is Wikipedia and anyone could have put this.

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