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The Drunk Story Thread


JetsMania

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I'll start tame and go from there.

 

 

This one takes place at the NLCS in 2003 when the marlins were playing the cubs in game 4. Me and two other friends went to the game. It was supposed to be four friends but one cancelled at the last minute. To make things worse one of my friends brings his mom (we were all 21-22 at the time). Well lets just say that was not a smart move... We had horrible seats in the upper level. So we went tailgating and my friend (who brought his mom) didnt want to drink so I had the lions share. Well the marlins were losing the game the entire time.

 

They were handing out rally towels that night. So from the 7th inning on I started grabbing the towel and I would stand up and start screaming "Fransworth Fransworth" (who was warming up for the cubs) and jacking the towel off right in from of my friends mom! Then I started doing "Sosa Sosa". People in front of us were telling my friend to control me. Lets just say she was mad at me for about a year after that game.

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Alright, here we go...I have so many I just have to go with the most recent one. This is local and involved quite a few people, so maybe you were there!

 

 

One of my best friends is from New Bedford, Mass. I don't know if any of you are from Mass or know people from there, but these are some crazy guys. Anyways, one of his best friends gets busted and long story short - he is going away to jail for 7 years. So he comes down here like a week before he has to go, it was like something straight out of the movie 25th hour.

 

We of course have to "celebrate" this by going out and getting absolutely trashed every night that he is down. Well on one of his last nights, we end up at the hard rock hotel completely GONE at about 4 AM saturday night and being in a Hotel, drunk and guys, we decide we want to get some hookers. hmm ok...so whats the next step. Find a hooker!

 

We somehow become convinced that this total complete "ten" hotty is a hooker, so we hatch a plan to get her away from the guys she is with to come with us. I slide up to her and leave a note "200 dollars?" she kind of giggles and looks away....so my buddy writes another note..."400 dollars and a chocolate martini?" ha

 

 

yea...so turns out shes NOT a hooker. She is a just a hotty with her BF and some other guys. So she gets it after the 2nd note and flips out, wtf is this?? and we're like...well you are a hooker, right?? "OMG OMG, Carlos (I am guessing thats her BF's name) these guys think I am a hooker and they are trying to pick me up!" So Carlos saw the chocolate martini part and just laughed but defended his GF...hey guys...she aint a hooker get out of here.

 

Somehow we think they are in the wrong, and to make a long story somewhat shorter...we get "escorted" out of the hard rock.

 

"chocolate martini" is our go to line now.

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I'll start tame and go from there.

 

 

This one takes place at the NLCS in 2003 when the marlins were playing the cubs in game 4. Me and two other friends went to the game. It was supposed to be four friends but one cancelled at the last minute. To make things worse one of my friends brings his mom (we were all 21-22 at the time). Well lets just say that was not a smart move... We had horrible seats in the upper level. So we went tailgating and my friend (who brought his mom) didnt want to drink so I had the lions share. Well the marlins were losing the game the entire time.

 

They were handing out rally towels that night. So from the 7th inning on I started grabbing the towel and I would stand up and start screaming "Fransworth Fransworth" (who was warming up for the cubs) and jacking the towel off right in from of my friends mom! Then I started doing "Sosa Sosa". People in front of us were telling my friend to control me. Lets just say she was mad at me for about a year after that game.

 

 

Oh man. I absolutely love being drunk and obnoxious at baseball games. Makes it even funner at Joe Robbie when there aren't many people around you.

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Guest ShaqandWade323

I've only been really "drunk" once (that will change now that I'm in Jacksonville) and it was primarily because I lost something like 20 straight games of beer pong.

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I'll start tame and go from there.

 

 

This one takes place at the NLCS in 2003 when the marlins were playing the cubs in game 4. Me and two other friends went to the game. It was supposed to be four friends but one cancelled at the last minute. To make things worse one of my friends brings his mom (we were all 21-22 at the time). Well lets just say that was not a smart move... We had horrible seats in the upper level. So we went tailgating and my friend (who brought his mom) didnt want to drink so I had the lions share. Well the marlins were losing the game the entire time.

 

They were handing out rally towels that night. So from the 7th inning on I started grabbing the towel and I would stand up and start screaming "Fransworth Fransworth" (who was warming up for the cubs) and jacking the towel off right in from of my friends mom! Then I started doing "Sosa Sosa". People in front of us were telling my friend to control me. Lets just say she was mad at me for about a year after that game.

 

 

Oh man. I absolutely love being drunk and obnoxious at baseball games. Makes it even funner at Joe Robbie when there aren't many people around you.

 

 

Hahah ya I know.

 

I have also been thrown out of a dolphins-patriots game at dolphins stadium while I was wearing a jets jersey. I got TRASHED before the game. It was in 2004 when the dolphins were 2-12 going into the game and the pats were 12-2. Well tickets were like 10 dollars so I got some online. We went to the game and most of us got drunk. For some reason I had a Marvin Jones jersey in the car. Well after several beers I put in on and walked into the stadium. For the entire game I yelled at dolphins and patriot fans. The game was in late december and there was this guy about 5 rows ahead of me who kept had his shirt of trying to be bad ass with 61 degree temps. So I kept yelling at him "if your so tough take your pants off"

There was also this guy in a Zach Thomas jersey sitting in the section next to me that kept telling me to shut up. I would just stand up and cheer when the pats would score just to bother him. Well towards the end of the game the pats scored and I looked over to him and go "Hey 54, whats the matter?" and made a sad face and ran my finger down my face like a tear. Well he FLIPPED out and went to the isle challening me to a fight. I was just laughning and calling him an idiot. Well this "tough guy" runs down and calls the police. Then three police men come up to my row and ask me to leave. As soon as they are escorting me out, the entire section I am in and the section the guy was in stand up and start cheering that I was getting kicked out.

 

My favorite line of the night came from one of my friends. There were two people from Boston sitting right in front of us. My friend (a dolphins fan) kept saying how stupid people from New England were. The lady in front of us was like "what are you talking about?, We have Harvard, MIT, Brown, etc..." all of the sudden my friend yells "AND YOU DIDNT GO TO ANY OF THEM!" I almost pissed my pants.

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Guest ShaqandWade323

Hmm haven't done anything too bad or embarassing just made out with my neighbor once and spilled a bunch of drinks.

 

Was your neighbor a guy or girl?

 

Huh? Eh??!?!

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Hmm haven't done anything too bad or embarassing just made out with my neighbor once and spilled a bunch of drinks.

 

 

I am going to assume that by "neighbor" you mean your hot lesbian friend who seduced you and by "spilled a bunch of drinks" you mean that you "accidentally" took pictures of it on a digital camera which you will now share with all of us in this thread.

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It was our friend Rick's 21st birthday. As such, we brought lots of liquor. A fifth of Aftershock. A fight of Jack Daniels. A fifth of Bacardi. A fifth of Vodka. And a fifth of something I honestly cannot remember. Anyhow, we'd been drinking for probably 2 hours or so and had a pretty good buzz going and Rick stands up. I'm like "Dude, where you going?"

 

He responds with "I gotta go to the bathroom."

 

Now, with a good buzz going and not thinking clearly, I said "You can't do that."

 

Looking all confused he asks, "Why?"

 

"Because, you'll break the seal and become undrunk."

 

He thought about it for a moment and then said "Oh, ok," and sat down. So we continue drinking for a few more hours and probably after about three hours or so, he gets up and starts running (we were thoroughly drunk at this point, mind you). I immediately point at him and shout to Brandon, "Dude you gotta stop him! He's going to break the seal!"

 

So Brandon, reaches out and grabs one of his arms and I run up and grab the other one. We lock his arms with ours so he can't get to the bathroom, but he manages to fight his way out of it. He makes it all the way to the bathroom door and then pukes all over his carpet. At which point, I looked at Brandon and said, "Well, I guess he really wasn't going to break the seal."

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Haha...I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many stories. This should be a good thread. I'm actually gonna start with a story of one of my friends. Freshman year. Yanks vs Boston in the ALCS. There were about 10 of us crowded in a small dorm room watching Game 7. There were a couple Yankee fans and a couple Boston fans. One of the Boston fans was the most obnoxious fan I've ever met. He absolutely loved everything to do with the Sox, but he was cocky as hell about it and it drove all of us nuts. The entire game he is talking trash especially as they are winning. Oh and obviously we are drinking as all of this is going on. So we get to extras and Boone hits the walk off homerun. To which he says nothing and immediately walks outside. (Our dorm rooms werent in a typical building. All of our doors led to the otuside). Anyways we don't see him the rest of the night. When we finally find him the next day it turns out he got arrested. He had gone over to campus security and pulled the bushes in front of the building out of the ground and throws them all over the parking lot. An then obviously was busted by the cops. He had done something else but I don't remember what that was.

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Guest FishFanInPA

I remember when i got drunk in my friends suite and we were playing beer pong...By the end of the night, I had a run of like 10 games. After we cleaned it all up...I was so drunk I pulled down my pants and took a piss right in the middle of the lounge and proceeded to pull my pants down to do a number two before someone realized it and stopped me. I had thought I was in the can but obviously i wasn't.

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I was in Orlando for a rugby tournament, and as is rugby tradition we have a social after all the games are done. Home team hosts all the visiting team (meaning they buy the keg or in this case kegs). Most teams didn't stick around so when we get there its FIU and UCF women and a few scattered souls. So as good guests we start takin pitcher after pitcher and stackin them at our table before we could even finish them. At one point it was me and our captain sitting at the table with 6 full pitchers getting to work. The drinking games vary from quarters to 'buffalo rules' to dropping the golf ball in peoples drinks (meaning you have to down in one). Needless to say I am wasted, and the only girls there are these infamous UCF girls. I call them 'Paul Bunyan bitches'. Most of them are lesbian.

 

So we are mingling hanging out at the bar drunk off our asses. At one point one of these huge lesbians picks up my friend (he's a built guy mind you) right off the ground like a baby and takes him away to the bathroom area. It was the funniest thing. In the meantime I'm being obnoxious as hell to the lesbians, one of them gets super pissed off for some reason so we take it outside. The funniest part is that outside was a golf course, so I am wrestling in the sand trap with this butch lesbian for a good ten minutes.

 

It took me a couple days to get the sand out of my hair after that (I had long hair at the time).

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Quick story. In high school, there was a party. It got busted so everyone ran. We jumped out of the basement window, me and two friends. I was the first one.. I was running SO fast. Full speed into a fence. I hear my buddy behind me go "ooooh sh*t!". He tries slowing down but goes right in to the fence. We both sit there and laugh for about 3 seconds when all of a sudden my third buddybn flies in to the fence.. except hes 6'8 and flipped over it. God if only that was on camera.

 

 

so many drunken stories

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Haha awesome

 

And I think anyone who has ever drank alcohol in a social setting has hooked up with someone that they regretted.

 

Buffalo rule sucks. I'll never drink with my right hand again.

 

Our high school parties would ALWAYS get busted. People in my county have nothing better to do. I live/lived in the middle of no where so thats all cops had to do. Word spread about those things pretty quickly. They were pretty good about it though. They'd never actually do anything except say 'make sure everyone stays the night'. Unless they found marijuana or other drugs, then there'd be trouble.

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It was our friend Rick's 21st birthday. As such, we brought lots of liquor. A fifth of Aftershock. A fight of Jack Daniels. A fifth of Bacardi. A fifth of Vodka. And a fifth of something I honestly cannot remember. Anyhow, we'd been drinking for probably 2 hours or so and had a pretty good buzz going and Rick stands up. I'm like "Dude, where you going?"

 

He responds with "I gotta go to the bathroom."

 

Now, with a good buzz going and not thinking clearly, I said "You can't do that."

 

Looking all confused he asks, "Why?"

 

"Because, you'll break the seal and become undrunk."

 

He thought about it for a moment and then said "Oh, ok," and sat down. So we continue drinking for a few more hours and probably after about three hours or so, he gets up and starts running (we were thoroughly drunk at this point, mind you). I immediately point at him and shout to Brandon, "Dude you gotta stop him! He's going to break the seal!"

 

So Brandon, reaches out and grabs one of his arms and I run up and grab the other one. We lock his arms with ours so he can't get to the bathroom, but he manages to fight his way out of it. He makes it all the way to the bathroom door and then pukes all over his carpet. At which point, I looked at Brandon and said, "Well, I guess he really wasn't going to break the seal."

 

Haha i was honestly laughing my ass off all through this story

 

Falling asleep with a fudgecicle in bed.. not a pleasant morning.

I can only imagine hahaa :mis2

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When I was a freshman in college I weighed all of about 150 lbs soaking wet. I was fresh out of basic training and honestly thought I was "immune" to the effects of alcohol. It was my first weekend in college with my new room mates and we get invited to this fraternity rush party. We were there milling about when I heard this trumpeting sound. i was like - wtf? So I look over and see this big red funnel attached to some pvc hose. Well that's weird - they seem to be pouring beer into that funnel and directly down that dude's throat - I will have to investigate further!

 

So, after funneling my first pitcher of beer I suddenly realize that perhaps my immunity to alcohol was slightly over stated. It was the first time I tried to turn left but my legs kept going straight. Anyway, I have my arms thrown over my buddies' shoulders and I'm being escorted up the stairs to leave just has this really good looking blonde chick is coming down. As she's passing me she calls me by name "Yankee?" Yeah, it's my ex g/f's way hotter older sister that I had a crush on in hs but graduated two years ahead of me... She gives me a big hug and a kiss on the mouth [woo hoo!] right in front of my buddies. I'm trying to talk to her and be all suave but for some reason my tongue doesn't work. Very sad moment for me as I also realized that all that beer had to leave my body within the next couple of minutes.

 

So we cut the reunion short so I can pee in the bushes. I drop trou because handling all that elastic and stuff is way too complicated at this point in the night. So, I turn and start peeing against the wall - the guys are laughing their butts off but I don't care because it feels so good. Then I realize why they are laughing - I was standing directly in front of the "basement" window and basically peeing against it while everyone in the party was watching. I was midstream so there was no stopping. Oh well.

 

The night went downhill from there, but I will spare you the details. Basically it involved me taking a bite of a pickle at Mr. Subb, getting the hiccups, and erupting like a volcano in the Mr. Subb bathroom. :|

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