In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

 

On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

 

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

(The shoplifter special)

 

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how . . .?)

 

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."

(Too late!)

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(As night follows the day . . . )

 

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save time?)

 

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate

machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope.)

 

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to what?)

 

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(Talk about a news flash.)

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, Eat nuts."

(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

 

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

 

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Did this actually happen somewhere? My God!)

:lol