May 29, 200323 yr Another e-mail sent by a 'friend' We always hear "the rules" from the female side. > > Now here are The Rules from the male side. > > These are our rules! > > > > > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it > > down. We need > > it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you > > leaving it down. > > > > > > 2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it > > that way. > > > > > > 3. Crying is blackmail. > > > > > > 4. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do > > not work!! > > Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! > > > > > > 5. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers from us to almost > > every question. > > > > > > 6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's > > what we do. > > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > > > > > 7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > > > > > 8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. > > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > > > 9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, > > don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. > > > > > > 10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. > > > > > > 11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the > > ways > > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > > > > > 12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it > > done. > > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > > > > > 13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > > commercials. > > > > > > 14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. > > > > > > 15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. > > Peach, for > > example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no > > idea > > what mauve is. > > > > > > 16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > > > > > 17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like > > nothing's > > wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > > > > > 18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an > answer > > you > > don't want to hear. > > > > > > 19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is > fine. > > > > Really. > > > > > > 20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to > > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster > > trucks. > > > > > > 21. You have enough clothes. > > > > > > 22. You have too many shoes. > > > > > > 23. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. > > > > > > > > Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch > > tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like > > camping. > > > > > > -- Author unknown
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