Oh the Drama

I found this on the Vesti. It's funny because he actually entices you to keep reading.

November 10th, 2004 - 8:47 PM Central

It seemed like any other bathroom visit. I sat down on the toilet and began the routine of pushing my rectum muscles to force out a fecal log. But little did I know, this would not be "just any" fecal log extraction.

All was going well. The log reared its ugly head, beginning the slow descent toward the crystal clear waters below. But as it inched downward, I began to feel a new sensation. An unpleasant one.

The log was slowly growing in circumference! It quickly grew to nearly 2 inches in diameter. I strained in agony as the fecal log was being forced through a hole not nearly the appropriate size for a safe extraction. The pain could be compared to that of a corn dog wrapped in sandpaper emerging from my anus.

I quickly fatigued, and had to quit straining for a small amount of time. Unlike a normal feces extraction, the log did not pinch off when I pulled back. It remained firm - still hanging from my quivering body but touching the surface of the water.

I couldn't stop now. I had to finish the extraction process. The worst was yet to come.

I bit my lip, took a deep breath, and summoned an adrenaline-driven force of strength, resisting the urge to cry in pain as the massive cylindrical log of feces came further out of my body. I reached a point of complete and utter agony. It kept increasing in circumference. My anal cavity couldn't take much more.

Finally, with no warning, the log quickly decreased in circumference until it slithered out of my anus like a snake emerging from it's den to attack an unsuspecting animal in the dead of the night.

I sighed in absolute bliss as I reflected upon the quest I had just embarked upon. I had finally thwarted the fecal serpent, and I felt so free and clear inside.

I was pleased to see that I had literally cleaned out my entire colon - I wiped only to see a clean piece of toilet paper afterwards. I smiled to myself As I flushed the foot-long behemoth into the eternal sewers where it would soon call "home". The quest was over.

Now, 7 minutes later, I literally feel like I have been sodomized. Imagine how the Goatse man feels; that is how I feel. But at least I am free of this beast within.

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