Five Blonde Jokes

[Bradcore]

1. An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building"

 

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

 

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

 

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

 

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

 

The blond opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

 

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

 

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.

 

"Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife.

 

 

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

 

 

 

2. A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. Val mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Val begins to slip from the saddle.

 

In terror, Val grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

 

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

 

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when........

 

........the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

 

 

 

3. One day, a blonde and a brunette were out for a ride in the blonde's new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulls in front of them. The blonde then puts her lips on the steering wheel.

The brunette feared for her life, but had the courage to ask, "What are you doing?!"

 

The blonde calmly replied, "I'm trying to blow the horn."

 

 

 

4. There were 11 women hanging onto a rope that was hanging down a cliff. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should let go because if they didn?t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette thought to herself ?I?ll let go.?

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would let go, all of the blondes started clapping.

 

 

 

5. A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.

 

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump.

 

"The blonde replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.

 

The brunette says, "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then."

 

"No, you have to take it," says the blonde. "I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."