Random Thoughts

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one

can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him

without an erection, make him a sandwich!

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a

person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for

anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble

down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in

hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no

attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars

and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now

the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the

millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as

to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of

immigration.