Im gonna give this a try

John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?'

'Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'

'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'

'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'

'Well, screw him!' said John.

'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'

A Chinese Guy, a Hindu, and a Canadian

A Chinese guy, a Hindu, and a Canadian guy were all taken for a ride up in a hot air balloon. Each were told to bring something they had too much of in their country. When they were 1500 feet up, they were told to throw over what they brought. The Chinese guy threw over a bag of drugs and said, "We have too much of these in our country."

The Hindu threw over a flat of beer and said, "We have too much of this in our country."

Then the Canadian grabed the Hindu and the Chinaman and threw them over the side. He says, "We have too much of them in our country".

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed

listening to the next door neighbour's dog.

The dog has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, 'I've had enough of this'

She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, 'The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?'

The blonde says, 'I've put the dog in our backyard, let's see how they like it.'