Hitting Approaches of Comic Book Characters

Not a bad diversion

http://mlb.sbnation.com/2011/11/12/2549055/hitting-approaches-of-comic-book-characters

Aside from pointing out the obvious - that Tubby needs to spend more time in the gym and less in the woodshop, creating crude Frankenbats - would this even work? What kind of wood is that? Because unless it's a variety with a lot of backbone, like ebony or teak, it's going to be cracked right off by any decent fastball. And shouldn't Tubby have countersunk those nails? What happens when a pitch hits one of them? The chicanery needs to take place in the interior of the bat, not the exterior.