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Dad's memory isn't doing him any Favre

By DON RUSSELL

[email protected]

Brett Favre

Brett Favre

 

After Brett Favre's dad, "Big Irv," died last month, even Eagles fans felt sorry for the Green Bay Packers' star quarterback.

 

For about three minutes.

 

Then we found out the Birds would be playing the Packers in the second round of the NFC playoffs.

 

And now, Birds fans are bad-mouthing Favre, big time.

 

On talk radio, they mocked his dad's ascension to heaven.

 

On the Internet, they're laughing at the idea that, as one TV sportscaster proclaimed, "There's an angel on the shoulders of the Packers."

 

The trash talk at the Eagles' official fan site only ceased when the Web site moderator threatened to ban anyone who joked about Big Irv.

 

There is no pity in Philly for "Saint" Brett.

 

Family tree

FATHER:

 

Irvin Favre. As a high school football coach, he helped Southern Miss violate NCAA rules to recruit his son.

 

WIFE: Deanna. He got her pregnant when he was 18, and she was 19. Married her seven years later.

 

BROTHER: Scott. Killed a family friend when he drove his car into a railroad crossing and got hit by a train. Jailed for DUI.

 

SISTER: Brandi. A Mississippi beauty queen, arrested for shoplifting.

 

Model citizen

 

In 1992, Favre was arrested after a barroom brawl in Hattiesburg, Miss., that began when he was arguing with the future Mrs. Favre. A bystander tried to intervene, and soon Favre was wrestling him to the floor. Favre was charged with drunkenness, disorderly conduct, and profanity.

 

Pillhead

 

Favre was a substance abuser in the mid-1990s. In 1996, he announced he was addicted to Vicodin, a prescription pain-killer.

 

The NFL sent him to the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kan., to dry out. Favre now says he's sober.

 

Mentor

 

"The biggest problem wasn't getting the pills down, it was keeping them down. I'd go into the bathroom, take a big slug of water, and try swallowing a handful of pills. Most of the time, I'd just throw them right back up and they'd land on the floor. No big deal. I'd just pick the pills out of the vomit, rinse them off, and try again."

 

- From "Vicodin, Rehab and Beer. Hey, It Won Me a Super Bowl," an excerpt from Favre's 1998 autobiography, "Favre: For The Record," published in Esquire magazine

 

Caring father figure

 

During his Vicodin addiction, Favre went into a seizure in front of his 7-year-old daughter. While watching her dad convulsing, the child screamed, "Is my daddy going to die? Is my daddy going to die?"

 

A reformed man

 

Favre was sprung from rehab after lying to his counselors. In his autobiography, he brags:

 

"Finally, I told them what they wanted to hear: that I was a drug addict and I needed help. Sure enough, a week later they said, 'We think you're ready to leave.'

 

"...Then I walked out the door and was like, 'Screw you.' "

 

Dork

 

He's a clubhouse prankster who's been known to put Heet ointment in players' jockstraps and shaving cream in their helmets. Once, he doused his own roommate with a bucket of ice water while he was on a commode.

 

If he wasn't making $10 million a year, somebody would've already pushed him off a tall building.

 

Hollywood star

 

In his best-known screen role, "There's Something About Mary," he somehow manages to lose Cameron Diaz to Ben Stiller. In the lesser-known "Reggie's Prayer," Favre plays a janitor in an all-star cast that includes M.C. Hammer, Reggie White, Mike Holmgren and Pat Morita.

 

A gentleman

 

Favre likes to fart. A lot. He told Playboy:

 

"If I'm on a golf outing with [Dan]Marino and [Jim] Kelly and they're getting ready to hit, I'll rip a big fart. They say, 'That's awful!' But why? Everybody does it. Just because you're a professional athlete or a politician doesn't mean you stop taking dumps and scratching your ass. Of course, there's a time and place for humor like that. I don't go to corporate events, where everyone is in a suit and tie, and start cutting farts. Not loud ones, anyway."

 

Wuss

 

Brett is scared of the dark. He sleeps with a light on.

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