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You might be a blueneck...


g8trz2003

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You might be a Blueneck (a northerner - the opposite of a Redneck) if ...

Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) .

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC Cola.

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than at Six Flags.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

You don't have Maw-maw's & Paw-paw's.

You've never been to a craft show.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

None of your fur coats are homemade.

You have no idea who the Allisons or Pettys are.

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:lol

 

As a Marylander who has lived in both the rural and metropolitan areas of the state I find it very funny when northerners make fun of southerners and vice-versa.

 

The culture shock is amazing.

The big difference is that southerners are more communal in spirit. Everyone is a neighbor no matter if they live on your block or 50 mils 'cross state. In the north people from Washington dislike people from Baltimore, who hate people from Philadelphia, who despise Bostonians, who view New Yorkers with scorn.

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maryland is an interesting state. I have a friend from Elkton, MD...he claims the tallest building is 2 stories tall....it's real rural....I think Indiana is kind of the same way for Maryland.

 

Marlyand was much like Virginia leading up to the Civil War...Lincoln couldn't have MD secede though...could you imagine DC being stuck b/t 2 Confederate states? lol

 

It's all good fun makin fun of other parts of the country though...

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maryland is an interesting state. I have a friend from Elkton, MD...he claims the tallest building is 2 stories tall....it's real rural....I think Indiana is kind of the same way for Maryland.

 

Marlyand was much like Virginia leading up to the Civil War...Lincoln couldn't have MD secede though...could you imagine DC being stuck b/t 2 Confederate states? lol

 

It's all good fun makin fun of other parts of the country though...

Indeed... Lincoln arrested the fellows who were going to vote for Maryland to secede. Perhaps it would have been a different outcome had he not done that... :shifty

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No need for developing the internet if your militaries are still struggling to hold back the European imperialist powers as would have happened if the South won its freedom and America was never full united under the industrial north.

 

But then again you still hood romantic notions of the KKK of the 19th century that hung uppity black folk.

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the KKK of the 19th century was more apt to fight carpetbaggers and scallawags than to lynch black folks. It's not just coincidence that the KKK ended with the northern occupation of the South. Most political scientists and historians that support the theory that a state has the right to secede, hence supporting the Southern states' secession feel that the they would eventually rejoin the Union, creating a stronger country.

 

And I see no reason why the USA and CSA could not be allies militarily (of course there would be a period where they would not...much like GB and the US).

 

I really didn't want this thread to turn political. They are jokes....just like there are redneck jokes...there are jokes making fun of northerners...key word being "fun".

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