Give me 20 dollars

To become a marlins fan:

 

Mix in a large pot three peanut butter sandwiches, one high heeled boot, a severed frog's leg, a handful of dust bunnies, one pound of lindberger cheese, a lock of witch's hair and a pinch of tumeric. Cook slowly until reaching 30,000 degrees. At this point add three ice cubes, inhale the vapor and save the remaining mixture in a small satchel. Now climb to the top of JRS, crazed, frenzied, and high from the fumes, and dance like you've never danced before. Next, with the hang glider that you should have brought with you to the top of the stadium, fly into the everglades and wrestle the queen of all aligators, Doris (the aligator). Upon venquishing Doris, scramble onto I-75 and stop the flow of traffic.....with your mind. Remove the aformentioned special mixture from your satchel and throw it on a Waste Management truck owned by H. Wayne Huizenga, destroyer of marlins. Promptly do the wave.

 

If you feel this to be odd, too strenuous, or mildly unpleasant, remember that every marlins fan has done this, and it is the ONLY way to become a fan.