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After the warm rain


the sweet smell of camellias.


Did you wipe your feet?




Her lips near my ear,


Aunt Sadie whispers the name


of her friend's disease.




Today I am a man.


Tomorrow I will return


to the seventh grade.




Testing the warm milk


on her wrist, she sighs softly.


But her son is forty.




The sparkling blue sea


reminds me to wait an hour


after my sandwich.




Lacking fins or tail


the gefilte fish swims with


great difficulty.




Like a bonsai tree,


your terrible posture


at my dinner table.




Beyond Valium,


the peace of knowing one's child


is an internist.




Jews on safari --


map, compass, elephant gun,


hard sucking candies.




The same kimono


the top geishas are wearing:


I got it at Loehmann's.



The shivah visit:


so sorry about your loss.


Now back to my problems.




Mom, please! There is no


need to put that dinner roll


in your pocketbook.




Seven-foot Jews in


the NBA slam-dunking!


My alarm clock rings.




Sorry I'm not home


to take your call. At the tone


please state your bad news.




Is one Nobel Prize


so much to ask from a child


after all I've done?


*** **


Today, mild shvitzing.


Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.


Five-day forecast: -- feh!






Left the door open


for the Prophet Elijah .


Now our cat is gone.




Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.


Schlemiel. Schlimazel. Meshuganah


Oy! To be fluent!




Quietly murmured


at Shabbatt services:


Cubs 5, White Sox 3.




A lovely nose ring,


excuse me while I put my


head in the oven.




Hard to tell under the lights.


White Yarmulke or


male-pattern baldness.

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Playing the dreidel

Do parents give the kids gelt,

or eternal guilt?


In the synagogue

homosexual cantor

read from right to left

(that one is personal to my temple)




What is your last name?

Goldstein, Goldfarb, Rosenberg?

No, it's Walansky.


A Jew from Cuba

A Jew from North Africa

A Jew named Lefty.

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