March 27, 200620 yr After the warm rain the sweet smell of camellias. Did you wipe your feet? ***** Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name of her friend's disease. ***** Today I am a man. Tomorrow I will return to the seventh grade. ***** Testing the warm milk on her wrist, she sighs softly. But her son is forty. ***** The sparkling blue sea reminds me to wait an hour after my sandwich. ***** Lacking fins or tail the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty. ***** Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table. ***** Beyond Valium, the peace of knowing one's child is an internist. ***** Jews on safari -- map, compass, elephant gun, hard sucking candies. ***** The same kimono the top geishas are wearing: I got it at Loehmann's. ***** The shivah visit: so sorry about your loss. Now back to my problems. **** Mom, please! There is no need to put that dinner roll in your pocketbook. ***** Seven-foot Jews in the NBA slam-dunking! My alarm clock rings. ***** Sorry I'm not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news. ***** Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done? *** ** Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. Five-day forecast: -- feh! ***** Passover Left the door open for the Prophet Elijah . Now our cat is gone. ***** Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. Schlemiel. Schlimazel. Meshuganah Oy! To be fluent! ***** Quietly murmured at Shabbatt services: Cubs 5, White Sox 3. ***** A lovely nose ring, excuse me while I put my head in the oven. **** Hard to tell under the lights. White Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness.
March 27, 200620 yr Playing the dreidel Do parents give the kids gelt, or eternal guilt? In the synagogue homosexual cantor read from right to left (that one is personal to my temple) What is your last name? Goldstein, Goldfarb, Rosenberg? No, it's Walansky. A Jew from Cuba A Jew from North Africa A Jew named Lefty.
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