An Alligator visits The Gap

[Web Jim Edmonds]

A guy was taking his girl out for a date at one of their favorite restaurants. The girl ordered for the guy this time?as she wanted him to try something new. The guy says, ?ok anything but spicy food. My stomach doesn?t handle it well.? The girl said ok..and ordered her man a dish. The food came and the guy took one sip and it was spicy *** hell. He goes, Oh oh. My stomach wont be able to handle this. Immediately the guy has to shyt. He tries to hold it..but he cant?and he shyts his pants. Trying to act as if nothing happens, he rushes his girl out and says lets go for a walk. He walks about 5 feet apart from her?and he?s walking like a cowboy. She keeps trying to get closer but he keep pushing her away saying he likes to look at her from a slight distance. The young couple decides to take a train across town. The guy sees a Gap men?s store and goes inside to get some new pants because he has shyt the ones he has on. He tells his girl to go look at some clothes she would like the next time they go shopping. The sees a shirt and pants outfit on display on a manikin and says real quietly to the clerk ?just the pants!? The clerk says, ?what? I cant hear you.? Again, through the corners of his mouth the guy says, ?I need just the pants!? The clerk says again..?Im sorry but I didn?t hear you.? So through tight lip and with shyt running down his legs now?the guys says, ?Give me just the pants!!? The clerk replies, ?Ooooooh. I hear you. No problem sir!? The clerk returns with the bag and says it would be 25 dollars. The guy throws a 50 dollar bill at him and runs out the store with his girlfriend running behind him not knowing what was going. The guy gets on the train?the girl comes up gasping and out of the breath. He looks at her and says, ?Ok baby I?ll be right back!? The girl says, Wai?? but its too late. He runs in the bathroom. He snatches off his pants and his shytty boxers, rolls it into a tight ball and throws it all out of the window in the bathroom. He wipes his @ss as best he can. He breaths a sigh of relief then opens the Gap bag and pulls out?.just the shirt.

 

 

 

 

 

This rich kid Kyle was having his 21st birthday. He decided to throw a party for himself in his 1000 square foot mansion. All of his friends are there. They?re all getting drunk and smoking dope and just having a good ol time. After a while, Kyle invites everyone down to his basement to see his 25Ft long pet alligator. The all go down to the basement, and there is this huge, long alligator in a pool just swashing around and snapping its jaws and doing all kinds of alligatorly type stuff. Kyle goes, ?I?ll give 5 million dollars to anyone who wrestles with my pet alligator there?. There was a shush over the crown. No one said anything?.all that could be heard was the alligator?s long, scaly tail slicing through the water and its spiky, jagged teeth snipping and biting at the air. Not another sound could be heard. Then all of a sudden, there was a loud splash. And Leroy, the only black kid at the party, was in the pool wrestling the alligator!! Not only that, but Leroy was kicking the alligator @ss!! Leroy was punching it, and poking it in the eyes, and kicking it and just laying the smack down on the alligator. After a while, Leroy strangled the alligator and it fell to the bottom of the pool and died. There was a loud, thunderous ovation from the crown. Leroy crawls out of the pool and is dripping wet and badly out of breath. Kyle runs up to him and goes, ?well hot damn Leroy you beat the tar out of my gator. I guess I owe you 5 million smackers.?

Leroy, ?I don?t want 5 million dollars.?

Kyle, ?Ok, well I give you my limo and my private jet. Now you?re ridin in style!?

Leroy, ? I don?t want a jet or a limo.?

Kyle, ?Well Ok Leroy, well just name it. Anything you want I?ll get it for you.?

Leroy, ?All I want??.is the name of the motherphuker that pushed me in that pool

[Gorick]

rofl, i liked the first one :sleazy and the second one was good too :dancehead

[Bradcore]

Lol. I liked the second one.

[Dodge]

First one was stupid.

 

The second one - a 1,000 sq. ft. mansion? That's it?

[The_Punisher]

O...K