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85 is back


Buckeye
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After two days of "official" retirement.

 

Beloved Bengals WR Chad Johnson has not been himself this season. His numbers are down, yes, but more importantly, he hasn't been having fun. Chad's been a business man. Showing the personality of an investment banker to try and help the team and not be a distraction, as the media is so convinced that he was.

 

However, this has not worked. Chad has not been Chad, on or off the field. He is the 2-time AFC Receiving Yard champion and is way off the pace to do it for a third year in a row.

 

So, there's only one thing for him to do:

 

As advertised, the bombastic and verbose Chad Johnson is back, proclaiming Wednesday that he’ll beat Pro Bowl cornerback DeAngelo “Fall� so badly that he’ll have to find work at the Atlanta Fatburger owned by Bengals right tackle Willie Anderson.

 

Johnson said Lewis has told him to tone it down and that he’s risking a fine for stepping out as the Old Chad. But Lewis said, “Marvn has never fined him," or "even threatened to fine him."

 

For the benefit of the assembled media, Johnson took his team checklist, went to the one club marked in red (Atlanta) and wrote "DeAngelo Fall" next to it and already checked the "No" box, as if "No," Hall didn't cover him.

 

Even the most audacious Chad would wait until after the game to do that, but Wednesday was special.

 

"Marvin told me to tone it down. Told me to be quiet. I've been quiet all year. I haven't said much," Johnson said. "I'm back.

 

"I'm celebrating. I'm going to score. I'm going to score more than once," said Johnson, who has one touchdown this season. "I'm tired of being quiet. I've had no motivation, I've had no energy. I've had no drive. Nothing to look forward to on Sunday. I don't care if they put five people on me, I'm going to get it done this week."

 

---

 

"My name ain't even Chad no more. We're celebrating Spanish heritage month, right? In the month of October, in the NFL? Ocho-Cinco. From now on. Anybody who writes about anything that I say today, you call me Ocho-Cinco. Do not say Chad. You gonna get a pay cut. I'm not playin."

 

"I'm celebrating. I'm going to score. I'm going to score more than once. I'm gonna celebrate. T.J., you wanna get fined this week? I'm gonna pay it. T.J., I'm back!"

 

"Hey, y'all seen the new dollar bills? Have y'all seen the new dollar bills? They changed the dollar bill, right, and instead of George Washington, they say Chad. It's Chad, my face...no, I'm serious. Ocho-Cinco. And it says 'In Chad We Trust.' You gotta believe in me man."

 

"Cincinnati, this is how it's gonna be all year. Til January, February. It'll see you in Hawaii. Hint. You know what that means. I love you."

 

85 is back! The real Chad Johnson has stood up. Will it carry over to the field?

 

Tune in this Sunday to find out! I can't wait to go to PBS now! We're about to go on a serious run. Be afraid boys...be afraid.

 

 

This guy cuts to what amounts to the best wrestling promo I've ever heard. I fully expect him to score two touchdowns. This could come back to blow up in his face, but it's freakin' Chad!

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