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A year in the life of a Blonde


yenta
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A Blonde's Year in Review.>

 

>January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

>

>February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....>

> Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

>

>March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....

> box said "2-4 years!"

>

>April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!!

>

>May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....

8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

>

>June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

>

>July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,

>the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

>

>August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm>

car swamped because soft-top was open.

>

>September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

>

>October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

>

>November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

>

>December - Couldn't call 911 ... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

> --------

>EXPOSURE

>

>A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.>

>A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could>cite you for indecent exposure?">

>She says, "Why, officer?">

>"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.

>

>She looks down and says, "OH MY G__, I left the baby on the bus again!"

> --------

>THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR>

>A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond>female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

>

>She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.>

> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and>again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she>went.

>

>As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

>

>Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?">

>To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

>

>(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)

>

>My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL

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