Bad Day

 

Okay, things could be worse!

 

If you do not laugh aloud after you read this, you are in a coma! This is

even funnier when you realize it is real! Next time you have a bad day at

work think of this person.

 

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail

he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in

Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

 

_____

 

 

Hi Sue,

 

Just another note, from your bottom-dwelling brother.

 

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you have been feeling down

lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you

realize it is not so bad after all.

 

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few

technicalities of my job.

 

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the

office. It is a wet suit. This time of the year the water is quite cool.

 

Therefore, what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered

industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out

 

of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down

to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I have used it several times with

 

no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is

take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my

whole suit with warm water. It is like working in a Jacuzzi.

 

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.

Therefore, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

 

Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.

 

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I do not have any hair on my back, the jellyfish could not stick

to it however, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched

what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the

crack of my butt.

 

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

 

His instructions were unclear, due to the fact that he, along with five

other divers, were all laughing hysterically. I aborted the dive. I was

instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling

thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

 

When I arrived at the surface; I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As

I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down

his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon

as I got in the chamber.

 

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

 

So, next time you are having a bad day at work, think about how much worse

it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to

yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

 

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

 

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

Would be much funnier if it were true and the author of this fictitious tale knew anything about diving. But I digress...

 

Have you heard the one about the scuba diver found burnt and broken in the middle of a forest? Yeah, he got scooped up by a wildland fire aircraft's water scoop and dropped on a forest fire. Almost as plausible!

heh, that's kinda funny