More yuks

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid

bowlers.

Unfortunately, all the Swiss Bowling League records were destroyed in a

fire.

We'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm

shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just

have to be a little patient~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to

produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches,

they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that

people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.

Thus, the origin of the expression,

"He who has a Tates is lost

"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Indian chief, feeling very sick, summoned the medicine man. After

abrief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of

elkrawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew and

swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, once the rawhide

had been fully consumed, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was

feeling.

The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers

on."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name

missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the

local civic official who apologized profusely saying.....

"I must have taken Leif off my census."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies

with the assistance of a tribal witch doctor who indicated that the leaves

of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.

When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the witch doctor looked him

in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs

enemas?