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From the Onion: Rookie Strasburg Begins Hazing Nationals Veterans


EricWiener
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Rookie Strasburg Begins Hazing Nationals Veterans

 

WASHINGTON—Though Nationals rookie Stephen Strasburg has only played in two major league games, the right-handed phenom has asserted his dominance in the clubhouse by hazing his veteran teammates, eyebrow-lacking sources confirmed Thursday. "He took my jockstrap and put Icy Hot around the edges of it," said Nationals pitcher and 15-year veteran Livan Hernandez, adding that the rookie had made the team run naked from the Capitol Building to the Washington Monument the previous night. "If we get mad at the hazing, he slaps your stomach really hard in the shower. And then your stomach gets all red." At press time, Strasburg was psyching out his teammates by sitting at his locker with a demented smile on his face while turning an electric hair clipper on and off.

 

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rookie-strasburg-begins-hazing-nationals-veterans,17596/

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