Lebatard On Boston

March 14, 200422 yr

Posted on Sat, Mar. 13, 2004

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Risky business: Boston would bring baggage

DAN LE BATARD

dlebatard@herald.com

The confused, desperate Dolphins are trying to tie their hopes to human headache David Boston in a move that is everything from fascinating to contradictory.

Boston is a majestic talent, when he's in the mood, but a volatile poison when he isn't. He has had problems with drugs, the police, curfew, coaches, suspensions, maturity, injuries and teammates. There are legitimate questions about how much he cares. He has spent his entire pro career losing. Other than that, though, he's great.

Really.

Other than that, he's great.

Which is why the Dolphins covet him.

He can make this team a lot better. If he feels like it.

The Dolphins very badly need a talent like this in their offensive huddle. But a talent like this is only available cheaply because it is so problematic.

Boston is one of the NFL's top five receivers when healthy and right. And the Titanic was an exceptional boat except for that problem it had with sinking.

It took the San Diego Chargers all of one expensive season to decide they'd be better off if Boston would just go away.

Boston is young enough to reinvent himself here. Among the players who have landed in Miami with baggage: Lamar Odom, Gary Sheffield, Ricky Williams, Anthony Mason, Tim Hardaway and even Dan Marino. And things seem to have turned out OK for them. So maybe South Florida can become Boston's market.

But, man, the Dolphins haven't linked themselves to a problem child like this since the days of Lawrence Phillips and Cecil Collins. Say what you will about Terrell Owens, but nobody can question how hard he works or cares. Boston is Owens with a lot more question marks and a lot less production.

WHAT ABOUT OWENS?

Makes you wonder if the Dolphins were lost or asleep when the bidding for Owens reached a mere second-round pick. Owens has had more touchdown catches than anyone in his sport since 2000. And he could be had for the same price as an A.J. Feeley. Boston is a poor man's Owens. He has been so problematic that two lousy franchises have been happy to get rid of him.

Again, this can work. And any criticism of this deal, and this entire Dolphins offseason, has to wait until some more results are in. But this much can be said with clarity today:

The Dolphins have had such a mess of an offseason so far that they are willing to sell a slice of their soul for some-one who goes against just about everything the organization has stood for since Dave Wannstedt took over.

Remember, this is the coach who waived talented Daryl Gardener because there were questions about his work ethic and leadership. But Boston makes Gardener look like Ronnie Lott. Boston is a wide receiver who once asked defensive backs to go easy on him in practice jams because he had just had his tender nipples pierced.

Boston, a vain diva, has inflated so much in recent years (going from 209 to 257 in the three years before arriving in San Diego) that you have to wonder whether he is more interested in becoming a male model or a professional bodybuilder than the productive receiver he was back when he was approaching 100 catches and 1,600 yards in a season. He gets injured so much at least partially because he has too much muscle on a frame not meant for it, and ankles and tendons too flimsy to carry it. Randy Moss barely bench-presses 135 pounds. But he never gets hurt.

RIPPED BODY

Last season, the Buffalo Bills sat around in their locker room, looking at a photo spread of Boston shirtless, and marveled at how unbelievably ripped his body was. That's pretty high praise, when professional athletes are impressed by your body, and Boston certainly works hard to keep it just so, doing everything from paying personal trainers to travel with him to getting doctors to prepare his diet, regimen, pills and magnesium IV drips.

Here's what the Dolphins would be getting in Boston, according to a fascinating profile by Tom Friend in ESPN The Magazine: a player with 18-inch biceps, a 34-inch waist and 5 percent body fat (he moisturizes his biceps before games, so they glisten just so). A player who wears contact lenses in purple, red, blue and honey. A player who says in all seriousness, when asked by teammates why he always smells so pretty, ''My hygiene is unbelievable.'' A player who carries around and gives out pictures of himself, shirt off, belt unbuckled.

Boston, ironically, is from Humble, Texas.

In that same ESPN article, Mean Joe Greene, an assistant on Boston's former Arizona team, said Boston would be lucky if he lives to be 30. Greene, according to ESPN, said a coach once found a woman in Boston's room at bed check.

When she was asked to leave, Boston replied, ``If she goes, I don't play. I'll come down with an injury.''

The woman stayed. The coach left.

Again, all of this goes away if Boston produces. That's all that matters here. The dam-age the Dolphins have done to themselves recently is mostly cosmetic. It doesn't look good, Jay Fiedler and Dave Wannstedt being stripped of their power while Dan Marino gives back his power and Rick Spielman uses his new power to sign an injured offensive lineman who might not even be able to play this season, but all of that might have nothing at all to do with whether or not the Dolphins win.

Yes, it is alarming that the franchise seems adrift and flailing today, but talent can erase all.

Here's hoping Boston is in the mood.

:lol

He defintely is one interesting character. From wanting his teammates to be soft on him because of his tender nipples and threating the coach he would get suddenly injured the next day if the woman wasnt allowed to stay with him.

Lets just hope he tones it down a bit here in Miami.

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