Jump to content

Things my mother taught me


Recommended Posts

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"


My mother taught me RELIGION:

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next



My mother taught me LOGIC:

"Because I said so, that's why."


My mother taught me FORESIGHT:

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


My mother taught me IRONY:

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."


My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"


My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"


My mother taught me about STAMINA:

"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."


My mother taught me about WEATHER:

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."


My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen



My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"


My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

"Stop acting like your father!"


My mother taught me about ENVY:

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have

wonderful parents like you do!"



Link to comment
Share on other sites

This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...