Alabama:

Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

 

Alaska:

11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

 

Arizona:

But It's a Dry Heat

 

Arkansas:

Litterasy Ain't Everthing

 

California:

By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

 

 

 

Colorado:

If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

 

Connecticut:

Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet

 

Delaware:

We Really Do Like The Chemicals In OurWater

 

Florida:

Ask Us About Our Grandkids

 

Georgia:

We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

 

 

 

Hawaii:

Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru

(Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

 

Idaho:

More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not,

But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

 

Illinois:

Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

 

Indiana:

2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

 

Iowa:

We Do Amazing Things With Corn

 

 

 

Kansas:

First Of The Rectangle States

 

Kentucky:

Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

 

Louisiana:

We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,

But That's Our Tourism Campaign

 

Maine:

We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

 

Maryland:

If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

 

 

 

Massachusetts:

Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's

(For Most Tax Brackets)

 

Michigan:

First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

 

Minnesota:

10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000 Mosquitoes

 

Mississippi:

Come Feel Better About Your Own State

 

Missouri:

Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

 

 

 

Montana:

Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber,

Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else

 

Nebraska:

At Least The Cows Are Sane

 

Nevada:

Strippers, Lounge Lizards, and Poker!

 

New Hampshire:

Go Away And Leave Us Alone

 

New Jersey:

You Want A ##$%##! Motto?

I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

 

 

 

New Mexico:

Lizards Make Excellent Pets

 

New York:

You Have The Right To Remain Silent,

You Have The Right To An Attorney...

 

North Carolina:

Tobacco Is A Vegetable

 

North Dakota:

We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

 

Ohio:

At Least We're Not Michigan

 

 

 

Oklahoma:

Like The Play, Only No Singing

 

Oregon:

Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

 

Pennsylvania:

Acceleration Ramps - What's That?

Civil Engineers - Who Needs Them!

 

Rhode Island:

We're Not REALLY An Island

 

South Carolina:

Remember The Civil War?

We Didn't Actually Surrender

 

 

 

South Dakota:

Closer Than North Dakota

 

Tennessee:

The Educashun State

 

Texas:

Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

 

Utah:

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

 

Vermont:

Yep

 

 

 

Virginia:

Who Says Government Stiffs And

Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

 

Washington:

Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

 

Washington, D.C.:

Wanna Be Mayor?

 

West Virginia:

One Big Happy Family...Really!

 

Wisconsin:

Come Cut The Cheese

 

 

 

Wyoming:

The nation's best beef cattle.

Watch where you step

Some of those are classic

These are old.

Florida: Remember, if you're going to blame someone for this election, it was Ohio's fault.