phoenix Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs. 2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent. 6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp. 8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline. 11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam. 12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarlinFan10 Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. :plain :plain :plain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimeWrecker Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist. :notworthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.