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Never ask a witness a question...


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Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared

for the answer. In a trial, in a small Southern town the prosecuting

attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the





He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"




She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you

since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment

to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk

about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't

the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a

two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."




The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed

across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"




She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he

was a youngster too. He's lazy! , bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one

of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with

three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The

defense attorney almost died.




The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very

quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,

I'll throw your sorry asses in jail"

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