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As Marlins go fishing, there's no bite here

Guest markotsay7

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Guest markotsay7

As Marlins go fishing, there's no bite here

Sunday, January 08, 2006


T hree members of the Florida Marlins front office reportedly will arrive in Portland on Monday, take a tour of the city, meet with the mayor and, maybe, too, the governor.


This visit was pieced together by the smart, ambitious, resourceful people with the Oregon Sports Authority and, also, greedy Marlins officials who are touring North America in search of a sweeter stadium deal and free swag.


That said, they're here. And we're here. So I spent Saturday performing some baseball reconnaissance work, which means I have some unsolicited advice for the hosts.


Let's see. Be on time when you pick up Marlins President David Samson and his contingent at the airport. Give them a firm handshake. Bring gift baskets. Also, as planned, give the group a good driving tour of the city, including the top two proposed stadium sites -- the U.S. Post Office site in the Pearl District and the Rose Quarter site.


Oh. Almost forgot. One other thing -- whatever happens, do not let them get out of the car at any time in any fashion. Got it?


Even at stop signs. Even if they complain about having to use the restroom. Even to eat. Or sleep. Even if one of them asks, "Hey, didn't we just cross this bridge 10 minutes ago?!?"


Arrive with a full tank of gas. Drive. Smile a lot. Take them through Washington Park if you need to buy extra time. And use the parental window and door locks if you need to keep them from escaping.


Do all that, and Portland has a chance.


A lot of people want major league baseball to relocate to Portland. But I couldn't find those people at say, noon, on a regular day, near any of the two proposed sites. It got so bad, a homeless man wearing a long denim skirt nearly took a swing at me when I asked him how he felt about major league baseball.


"I don't need baseball," he said. "What I need is a dollar."


And Carrie Ruse was near the Post Office, on the way to visit her 90-year-old grandmother, as she does five days a week, and said: "I don't want baseball here. I can't even find parking as it is now."


And Shari House, who owns a nearby business, said: "I can see the benefit of a stadium to the city, but I'd rather have an open market like Seattle's Pike Street Market."


Also, there were 23 people in line at the Post Office, who were asked to raise their hands, as part of a very unscientific poll, if they were in favor of mailing letters somewhere else so that the city could build a baseball stadium. And they all shrugged, except for one gentleman, who asked, "Isn't this a historical building?"




It's a post office.


A nd, in case you ever wondered, postal employees are not allowed to comment to the media on matters such as baseball stadiums. So officially, they're busy. Except, one postal worker, arriving for his shift, broke the company vow and said, "Listen, pal, we don't even talk about baseball around here anymore."


Sorry. But we needed to know. As much as you might want baseball, lots of people either don't care or want it somewhere else. Which is problematic.


So in the meantime, take the Marlins' contingent to visit Nike, Intel and Adidas. And tour the city's most affluent neighborhoods. And, to prove we can be sports crazy, drive them up Broadway while holding up black-and-white photos of the 1977 Trail Blazers championship parade, with fans hanging off the lampposts.


Just keep them away from taxpayers and private citizens.


We'll be spitting sunflower seeds in no time.



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While that was one of the most entertaining articles to come out regarding this whole ordeal, it's the general apathy like that that dooms the Marlins' game of chicken.


If relocation markets either don't take the Marlins seriously, can't be taken seriously or face nearly insurmountable obstacles (like Vegas' being forced to take baseball off the sports books) this will just stalemate with Miami waiting to get it done on their terms (think Miami Arena II).


Hopefully Samson will just come back with an egg on his face and get it done in South Florida. :crossfingers

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swing an a miss :thumbup


though I'm not so sure that actually helps our situation. The more times Samson has to put his tail between his legs, the less leverage he'll have here. We might end up agreeing to a "bad" deal just to have some kind of home for the future.


Hopefully it turns out like you say Tswift

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