Q. What do West Virginians do on Halloween?

 

A. Pumpkin!

 

Q. Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?

 

A. There's nothing worth craping on!

 

Q. What do a tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common?

 

A. Someone always loses a trailer.

 

Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

 

A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

West Virginia State Residency Application

 

 

Name: ________________

(last)

(first) (_) Billy-Bob

(_) Billy-Joe

(_) Billy-Ray

(_) Billy-Sue

(_) Billy-Mae

(_) Billy-Jack

(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

 

CB Handle: _____________________

 

Occupation:

(_)Farmer

(_)Mechanic

(_)Hair Dresser

(_)Un-employed

(_)Coal Miner

 

Spouse's Name: __________________________

 

Relationship with spouse:

(_) Sister

(_) Brother

(_) Aunt

(_) Uncle

(_) Cousin

(_) Mother

(_) Father

(_) Son

(_) Daughter

(_) Pet

 

Number of children living in household: ___

 

Number that are yours: ___

 

Mother's Name: _______________________

 

Father's Name: _______________________

(If not sure, leave blank)

 

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

 

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?

(Check appropriate box)

 

___ Total number of vehicles you own

___ Number of vehicles that still crank

___ Number of vehicles in front yard

___ Number of vehicles in back yard

___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

 

___ Number of refrigerators on front porch

 

Firearms you own and where you keep them:

____ truck

____ bedroom

____ bathroom

____ kitchen

____ shed

 

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__

Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of

pickup: _________

 

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

(_)The National Enquirer

(_)The Globe

(_)TV Guide

(_)Soap Opera Digest

(_)Gun World

 

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

 

How often do you bathe:

(_)Weekly

(_)Monthly

(_)Holidays

(_)Not Applicable

 

Color of teeth:

(_)Yellow

(_)Brownish-Yellow

(_)Brown

(_)Black

(_)No teeth

(_)N/A

 

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:

(_)Red-Man

 

How far is your home from a paved road?

(_)1 mile

(_)2 miles

(_)don't know

(_)can't get there from here

 

BUMPER STICKERS:

___ Eat more Possum

___ My other car is a piece of junk too

___ Honk if you love Jesus

___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'

___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco

 

Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply:

___ Square Dancin'

___ Possum Huntin'

___ Skinny Dippin'

___ Craw Daddin'

___ Gospel Singin'

___ 4-Wheelin'

___ Drankin'

___ Spittin' Backy ___ Bill Chip Trowin'

___ Honky Tonkin'

___ Noodlin'

 

# of Dogs: ___ Type: ___ Blue Tick ___ Beagle

___ Black & Tan ___ Bird Dawg

 

Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws

___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech

___ Skoal ___ Coors

___ NAPA ___ Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear

LOL