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Jewish Q and A


Dan Marino Forever 13
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Jewish Q and A

 

Q: What is a Jewish menage-a-trois?

A: Two headaches and a hard-on.

 

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

 

Q. How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?

A. She has a headache with the postman.

 

Q: What business is a yenta in?

A: Yours.

 

Q: What is a Jewish nymphomaniac?

A: A wife who does her hair and sleeps with her husband on the same day.

 

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?

A: They put them in the car.

 

Q: What does a Jewish husband call a water bed?

A: The Dead Sea

 

Q: Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?

A: Netanyahoo

 

Q: What's the name of the face lotion made especially for Jewish women?

A: Oil of Oy Vay

 

Q: What's the title of a horror film for Jewish women?

A: Debby Does Dishes

 

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?

A: Plaintiff

 

Q: In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become human?

A: When it is accepted into medical school

 

Q What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long ?

A: Nothing at all

 

Q: Define "genius"

A: An average student with a Jewish mother

 

Q: Why did the mohel retire?

A: He just couldn't cut it anymore

 

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A: A fur coat

 

Q: What do you call someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

A: A meshuggener

 

Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?

A: The tip of the iceberg

 

Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman?

A: A Mercedes Benz 500SL convertible

 

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never

forget what she forgave."

 

One of life's mysteries - how a 2 lb. box of chocolates can make a

Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.

 

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something

in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

 

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about

nothing and then they marry him.

 

A Bar mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize

that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play

for one.

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