After seeing that the fans at Wrigley boo'd Dan Uggla in tonight's 6-3 loss to the Cubs, a friend of mine wrote a post on his blog in anger-- basically trashing Cubs fans and their entire organization. I honestly laughed very hard throughout the entire thing, and I highly recommend you read this if you like to laugh.

 

http://mbstarship.blogspot.com/2008/07/for...ing-so-soon.html

 

They did it. Just like I had a feeling they would, the mother****ers did it.

 

You could sense it in the cool, July-in-Chicago air, and you knew it was waiting to be unleashed. You see, this- just like every other one since roughly 437 BC- is The Year. Caked amidst the pound cake-like layers of shirtless frat-boy douchiness (that even a word?) and older-than-dinosaurs, fan since the "glory days" stink that seeps through the Wrigley ivy and onto Waveland Ave. is a sense of destiny. This team, the fans feel, has a certain aura that no other Cubs team has (save for every one other than the '06 one...and it took till July for the last fan to give up that season) ever had. And why not? It's the hundred year anniversary. This is their time, right? If it's not now, it's never.

 

Not too long ago, before the All-Star Game, I became aware of just how confident the Cubbie faithful was feeling. The best record in the National League was theirs, they were absolutely dominating at home, and with the acquisition of Rich Harden, they were boasting arguably the best pitching staff in the league. As the mid-summer classic approached, Cubs fans- at least the ones I know- couldn't stop talking about how important this game was to them. The NL needed to break the curse, because their Cubs just HAD to clinch the title that was surely coming to them at home.

 

Then the game came, and as we all saw, Dan Uggla became the goat (no pun intended). The AL won, and that elusive home field advantage slipped right through the Cubbies' grip.

 

But wait...rewind this. The World Series home field advantage slipped through the Cubs' grip?! Is this serious? This is what people REALLY believe?! Apparently so, as evidenced by Dan Uggla's plate appearance in the 9th inning of tonight's game. You'd think he was privately funding Steve Bartman's life with the showering of boos he received from the hometown faithful.

 

Never mind the fact that by placing the burden of defeat on a player who cost the National League a total of ZERO RUNS in that game allows more direct culprits to slip through the same cracks that Calvin Schiraldi and Alex Gonzalez The Lesser were allowed to get out through, let's just focus on the hilarity that is a bunch of Cubs fans placing their team in the World Series in...July. I don't mean to bombard you with a history lesson, but to put the absurdity of this in perspective, let's go back to the last time the Chicago Cubs represented the National League in the Fall Classic, Nineteen Hundred and Forty Five. You wanna talk about four score and 8,000 years ago? This is it. Back then, it had only been months since Japan had surrendered, effectively ending World War II, Jackie Robinson was preparing to suit up for the Montreal Royals, the United Nations was being founded, and the first ever ballpoint pen was going on sale for $12.50. Since then, man has gone to the moon, split Berlin down the middle (and torn that down), discovered the virtues of LSD, and ruined sex with a little thing called HIV. That's how different this planet was when the Chicago Cubs last mattered, and yet these are the people who are assuring themselves a spot in baseball's grand stage? Please...

 

Now, I know you've probably heard all this already, but it has to be said. They don't call this franchise the Lovable LOSERS for nothing. Nobody has managed to take sucking in and out of style like the Chicago Cubs. These people have permanent residence in Heartbreak Hotel. When a station like FOX broadcasts their games, it's with the hope that one more historically tragic moment gets added to their laundry list of futility while the cameras are running. To be straightforward, if you looked the definition of failure in a dictionary, you know what you'd find? The meaning of it, and that's what this franchise is. Ernie Banks' let's-play-two? Anyone who's taken a crash course in probability could make a half-decent case for why it's logical to believe the Cubs probably lost those two.

 

And yet, it's all Dan Uggla's fault, right?

 

I guess this is the stupidity that feeds on the frustrated minds of Cubs fans showing. And if so, let me tell you, it's been feasting like Runelvys Hernandez at a Kansas City Royals franchise luncheon. These are the fans that had two teams, much less historically awful, sitting around them. They could've been St. Louis Cardinals fans, they could've experienced that feeling of ultimate triumph 10 times since the last man alive for the Cubs' last title died of old age. Or if that's too touchy, they could've just looked elsewhere in their very own city. Sure, the other team was virtually worthless and irrelevant in its own hometown for a long time, but at least its got a banner to hang! All election year, people have been slagging Sen. Barack Obama for being too shady. People don't know if they can trust his decision making. Yet, this is the man who moved to Chicago, had a choice between two franchises, and went with the White Sox. His decision-making capabilities are JUST FINE. It's a large portion of the rest of the Chicagoans (Chicagoites?) I worry about...

 

Honestly, though, forgetting that both the NL Central and NL East have worthy opponents that this team will have to get through in October, and forgetting that had they themselves treated this All Star Game like what they claim it was and not voted in the very undeserving Kosuke Fukudome, do they just assume a win would've given them a clear path through the American League, too? Sorry, but as much of a longshot as even getting to the Fall Classic is for this franchise, winning 4 games in even Wrigley in that series is even more crazy. Not saying they can't prove me wrong, but, putting all the tragic history aside, have you seen the Red Sox, Angels, Rays, Yankees, or even White Sox teams this season? The American League, say what you will, puts the National League- even the Cubbies- to shame.

 

But that shouldn't even matter, because if this so-called Baseball God that I've been hearing about forever truly exists, then these Lovable Losers will live up to their nickname while either one of their NL Central rivals or (crossing my fingers) the Florida Marlins celebrate on their field. And if this Baseball God is a competent one, the last game played at Wrigley this season will be one for the ages.

 

After all, when Death shows up at Wrigley Field again, what are they gonna do, counter with Henry Rowengartner?

Cub fans are bitter people who blame some goofy guy in the stands for their teams historic collapse against a better team in 03.

Cub fans are bitter people who blame some goofy guy in the stands for their teams historic collapse against a better team in 03.

 

He wrote a post about that too, called "Bartman Begins". Another good read

 

Bartman Begins

Cub fans are bitter people who blame some goofy guy in the stands for their teams historic collapse against a better team in 03.

 

They also blame a stupid Billy goat.

 

What I wouldn't give to knock those douche bags out of the playoffs again.

I hate the Cubs and if Cuban is the owner I will really hate the cubs.

haha i can see mark cuban get the cuband pat riley gets the marlins :whistle

Cub fans are bitter people who blame some goofy guy in the stands for their teams historic collapse against a better team in 03.

 

They also blame a stupid Billy goat.

 

What I wouldn't give to knock those douche bags out of the playoffs again.

 

I would like to win the next three beginning today. If that happens, I predict a tailspin with the Cubs missing the playoffs. That will even be better. In fact, I am going to predict that Uggs is a big part of making it happen. GO MARLINS!