Armando Benitez Is To Blame For Everything

 

The day was May 19th, 1998 when Armando Benitez blew yet another game by giving up a game winning homer to Bernie Williams. So what does the genius do? He beams Tino Martinez "effectively ending his career."

 

Of course that assertion is true, because Tino in '97 had an .948 OPS (on base percentage + slugging) and his career only declined. Let's put it this way. His ops has only once in the last 6 years has been over Soriano's 2003 ops and he has had 4 seasons with a .800 ops or less! Not so great for "an all star first baseman." So of course, Armando Benitez is to blame. Ever since the year 2000 he has had 158 save oppurtunities and has blown 19 saves for a SV% of 87.9%.

 

Here are other "top closers" and their SV% since the year 2000 (The best are Hoffman, Gagne, and Smoltz):

 

Mariano Rivera 87.5%

 

Rob Nen 86.5%

 

Troy Percival 87.2%

 

So is it just me or does Benitez always seem to screw it up when it matters, but is otherwise flawless? Guess his era with the yankees that "forced" them to deal him to Seattle? 1.93! His 2003 era was 2.96! So why do we hate Benitez aside from his scumminess? He always screws up when it matters. In fact, we can blame him for everything.

 

-Benitez is the reason Tino's career declined

 

-Benitez is the reason the Orioles never went past the Yankees or the Indians in the playoffs

 

-Benitez is the reason the Mets did not win the 2000 World Series

 

-Benitez is the reason the Mets were immediately out of contention since the first 2 weeks of 2003

 

-Benitez is the reason the Mets could not afford better players with his $7,000,000 salary

 

-Benitez is the reason a recent economic recession has hit America, because his 7,000,000 dollars sends jobs overseas

 

-Benitez is the reason AIDS exists

 

-Benitez is the reason a comet is going to hit the earth in the year 2027

 

-Benitez is the reason there is famine in Africa and Asia

 

-Benitez is the reason there's a homeless and healthcare epidemic in America

 

-Benitez is the reason priests are compelled to molest innocent altar boys

 

-Benitez is the reason bad things happen to good people

 

-Benitez is the reason the Red Sox and the Cubs are cursed

 

-Benitez is the reason America bombed Iraq for no reason

 

-Benitez is the reason why there was a vote counting fiasco in Florida

 

-Benitez is the reason George Bush, Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton, and George Bush were back to back to back to back presidents

 

-Benitez is the reason the Chinese forced down our recon plane and they captured our pilots

 

-Benitez is the reason the September 11th attack occurred

 

-Benitez is the reason Usama Bin Laden was born

 

-Benitez is the reason the entire Dominican Republic is impoverished

 

-Benitez is the reason global warming exists

 

-Benitez is the reason God will damn us all when we die

 

Face it, the bible has said the anti-christ will come and get us. One must now find it obvious Benitez IS the anti-christ. On November the 3rd,1973 Benitez was born and he knew his mission was to do one thing: bring pain. Think about it: D.O.B.= 11/03/73

 

The Year of his birth:

 

7 tribes of Israel

 

3 Wise men

 

The day:

 

0 real Gods besides the God of Israel

 

3 real Gods, those/that being the holy trinity

 

The month:

 

1 Christ

 

1 Anti-Christ

 

It is all too clear now. We must kill Armando Benitez. Maybe Billy Beane, aka Satan, will sign him.

 

http://www.xanga.com/craigramblings

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

hahahahhahaha

 

mannnnnnnn that had to be 1 da funniest s*** i have read in months man...... thanks 4 making me laugh

Good stuff SorianoFan :lol

uhh...maybe tino getting old as hell made his career decline. Give me a break.

uhh...maybe tino getting old as hell made his career decline. Give me a break.

I was being sarcastic, is Armando Benitez truly to blame for everything??? :mischief2