12/14/2003 6:10 PM ET

Baker copes with disappointment

Cubs manager bewildered by NLCS, All-Star losses

By Carrie Muskat / MLB.com

 

NEW ORLEANS -- There have been days this offseason when Dusty Baker was depressed and it was tough to get out of bed. He's had a tough time getting over the disappointment of the Chicago Cubs' early exit in the playoffs.

Baker, who guided the Cubs to their first ever Central Division title in his inaugural year at the helm, had a difficult time dealing with losing to the Florida Marlins in the National League Championship Series. He still has flashbacks.

 

"It wasn't just this year's loss," he said Sunday. "You start thinking about things and what didn't happen versus what has happened and sometimes you get a little bewildered about things and you're mired in self pity, which I never do but we're all capable of being there.

 

"One day my wife asked me why I was still in bed -- it was 10 o'clock," Baker said. "That's one of the few times I sort of realized how depressed people feel."

 

Baker said he started thinking about the San Francisco Giants' loss in Game 7 of the World Series to Anaheim. He thought about Los Angeles closer Eric Gagne, whose only blown save in 2003 was in the All-Star Game. Baker was Gagne's manager on the National League team, and lost the game.

 

"I started thinking about the playoffs (with the Cubs) and you start thinking about everything that didn't happen, and you ask the Lord 'Why' instead of being grateful and thankful to get that to that point," Baker said. "When you're a coach and a person, you get greedy and you want it now and sometimes it's not for you to have right now.

 

"It took a little while (to get over the disappointment)," he said. "Sometimes it comes back but I look around at what's transpired in the last year or so and it's really been pretty good."

 

Baker talked to former NFL coach Marv Levy, who knows a few things about disappointments.

 

"I said, 'Hey, this guy's in the Hall of Fame and lost four Super Bowls," Baker said. "He's still considered one of the best around and I think of some of the other guys who are so-called experts or geniuses, and have never even gotten to where I've been. There's a lot for me to be thankful for than be down or depressed about anything."

 

It's not as if Baker is second-guessing himself for any moves he made during the postseason.

 

"You think, 'I know I did this right, I know I did that right,'" Baker said. "You wonder why. I don't know if it's self-doubt but I was ashamed of myself for even feeling like that because it showed I didn't have as much faith in the Lord as I thought I should have or as grateful to what happened as I should've been.

 

"It could've been a whole lot worse than it was," he said. "Sometimes you have to remember what you say. I have to remember that I said I was here (with the Cubs) for improvement, which we did. The No. 2 thing I said was that this was the beginning, and it is."

 

The Cubs were five outs away from advancing to the World Series for the first time since 1945, and have not won it all since 1908. One thing Baker learned in his first season in Chicago was team history.

 

"I read that the 'Cubs disappointed' or 'let people down again,'" Baker said. "If we did, and they haven't been in that position for 95 years or whatever it is, anybody really let down or disappointed again had to be extremely old. I'm sorry if that happened."

 

Many people expressed their thanks to Baker for getting the Cubs as far as they went. He heard from vendors and ushers at Wrigley Field, and received grateful notes from the clubhouse attendants who pocketed their first playoff shares.

 

"Winning is a motivation," Baker said, "but if you're making $25,000 or $30,000 as a clubhouse guy ... a lot of people never got a share of anything. I'm working on (getting shares in) seven of eight years (with the Giants). I had a lot of people tell me thanks for the extra work. That's what I felt good about."

 

He was not happy at the criticism leveled against Steve Bartman, the enthusiastic fan who tried to catch a ball in Game 6 of the NLCS that Cubs outfielder Moises Alou also was aiming for.

 

"Personally, I'd like to win and put him in the parade with us and exonerate him for life," Baker said. "Put yourself in this guy's place. How many baseball games have you gone to and something could happen and change your whole life? You go to be entertained and it changes your entire life. That's rough.

 

"Could 'Mo' have caught the ball? I don't know. Would I like to have seen him have the opportunity? Yeah," Baker said. "That's not what lost the game. We had the opportunity to score more runs. Then we make an error after that -- (shortstop Alex Gonzalez) never makes an error. It just shows it might not have meant to be."

 

Baker hasn't watched replays of the NLCS over and over.

 

"I don't watch replays," he said. "I don't watch classic baseball games. I don't watch none of that. I don't like oldies unless they're rap oldies."

 

Yes, there is such a thing as a rap oldie. Remember Run DMC?

 

So, looking ahead to the Cubs' 2004 season, who will lead off?

 

"I don't know," Baker said.

 

Which means he approaches his second year with the Cubs with plenty of work to do.

 

"We'd like to improve on our defense, we'd like to improve on our base running, we'd like to improve on our fundamental play, the small things that cost you games," he said.

 

Baker didn't expect the Cubs to be in the mix for either free agent catcher Ivan Rodriguez or Javy Lopez.

 

"We're pretty close to our budgetary limits," Baker said. "The guys who did well, you figure they're going to get a raise -- (Joe) Borowski, (Kyle) Farnsworth and (Kerry Wood). You have to factor that in."

 

Cubs general manager Jim Hendry has some contracts to deal with as Borowski, Farnsworth and Wood all are arbitration eligible. Wood was expected to sign a multiyear deal.

 

And what if the Cubs face the Houston Astros and they have both Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens in the rotation?

 

"That's Roger's decision," Baker said of Clemens, who was believed to have retired from baseball this season. "It wouldn't bother me if he just started running some cattle in the next couple years."

 

Carrie Muskat is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to approval by Major League Baseball or its clubs.

Wow, after reading that, even a White Sox fan like me feels bad for the Cubs and their fans..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol :lol :lol :lol YEAH RIGHT!!!!! Let me take this opportunity to say YOU DA MAN BILLY GOAT AND ***K YOU CUBS!!!!

you had me going for a minute there maggs

Wow, after reading that, even a White Sox fan like me feels bad for the Cubs and their fans..........

:lol :lol :lol :lol YEAH RIGHT!!!!! Let me take this opportunity to say YOU DA MAN BILLY GOAT AND ***K YOU CUBS!!!!

You almost got me there, but that's funny Maggs!

you had me going for a minute there maggs

:lol :lol :lol

 

 

A die-hard White Sox fan takes out the gun and just shoots the Cubs. :killthemall

you had me going for a minute there maggs

:lol You didn't actually think I would do something as foolish as be kind towards the Cubs did you?

 

That would be like a fan of THE U like yourself saying you were happy for the 'Noles when they won the national title a few years back.

Shame on you, SuperAngels. This kind of stuff attracts snark, you know.