Operation Names...For The Future!

 

What's more American than bombing other countries? Well, a good old baseball game or Clark Bar is more American, but to most Americans and especially the politicians that run this country, nothing is more American than imposing the will of special interests, err America!

 

We American's are a very humane sort of people. Our wars are desensitized (duh, don't you watch CNN?), we warn countries almost a year ahead of time that we intend on bombing them, then we ask permission, and when we don't get it we conduct ourselves in a very classy matter. First we give an ultimatum, something along the lines of:

 

"Yo, leader of (blank country), get the hell out."

 

For some reason the establishment over there refuses to relinquish control for us, but because we are a dignified people, we drop warnings before we drop the bombs. Then we give the people of wherever we are taking over a fireworks show! Lastly, because we are so God damn classy, we drop food on them. Damn, we are good.

 

But a question still remains: How does one act on their own accord alone without offending people? Easy, by making chesseball, none offensding operation names.

 

Back then, we had cool operation names such as Operation Overlord (invading Nazi France), Operation Husky (invading Nazi Italy), Operation Desert Storm (invading Nazi Iraq), and Operation Bomb The Hell Out Of Your House (invading Griffin Petoria.)

 

However, after September 11th the Bush administration opened a sad new chapter in the naming of operation names. The last endless war that was used to perpetuate the military industrial complex was the Cold War. That's a pretty cool name. The new name for the second war for the M.I.C. is "The War On Terror."

 

What? We might as well call it, "The War On Evil" or "The War With All That's Wrong On Earth And We're Just The Guys To Finally Stop All The Evil and All That Bad Stuff." But it get's worse. We really had to bomb Afghanistan, but because Afghanistan was a threat to America, we did not have the luxury of time to play around with the UN for 37 years, so we had to bomb them. However, we understood this was a touchy issue, so the operation name for bombing Afghanistan was "Operation Infinite Justice."

 

However, that name was too offending. Apparently only Allah (not God the Father, Jesus, Satan, Osiris, or I for that matter) can "dispense infinite justice" and if we are going to be bombing these people, we should have the common decency not to claim powers reserved for their God alone. So we changed the name to "Enduring Freedom."

 

"Enduring Freedom" really isn't bad ass. It pretty much sets us up for enduring Afghanistan's freedom for the next 60 years. We should of called the operation something cool, like "Yellow Dog", "Star Shell", or "Zephyr." A name that makes no sense is way better than a cheeseball name.

 

However, we continued with the cheeseball name stupidity and when we conquered Iraq, we weren't conquering, we were "liberating the Iraqi people." That's why the operation is called "Operation Iraqi Freedom." What? Since when did we name operations after the supposed intended goal? If we were bombing a country, because it supported terrorists that hijacked a plane, should we call it "Operation Retaliatory Rocket Launch"?

 

Why do we do this? Because people are stupid enough to believe that a nice operation name means we are doing nice things.

 

I will save the Bush administration of 2004 some time by giving them some operation names for future countries they plan on bombing.

 

Iran

 

 

Operation Name: Freedom In Persia

 

Other names that can be used: Free Iran and Liberate Iran

 

 

 

North Korea

 

 

Operation Name: Northern Liberation

 

Other names that can be used: End Korean Tyranny and Korean Shield

 

 

 

France

 

 

Before I name anything, let me just say France is special. Racism of French people is okay, but racism of Arabs, Persians, Blacks, and Latinos is frowned upon. But screw the frogs, right? We can munch our freedom fries. We can call them derogatory language and express openly our general hatred towards them...hell, even our own government can sanction hatred against an entire ethnicity! Why, because they are French!

 

Operation Name: Frog Stomp

 

Other names that can be used: Frogger Ain't Crossing This Street, End Stinky Pits, Kill Arrogant People, and Blame Everything On and Then Bomb France

 

I suggest Bush gets to learn more about French culture before he bombs them. They all smell, have no reason to disagree with what we do, are perverts, and are all white.

 

However, Bush likes to see all the world's news compiled on one piece of paper, because he has an attention span of a 5 year old. So Bush, I can help you out! I have a cartoon that can explain everything you need to know about French people and it even has a song. So please President Bush, click this link! http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/26/

 

 

:hat http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=craigr...gs&uid=57417855

noice.

Bush would never touch North Korea...

if i had some eprops, i'd give you some :thumbup

This is too cute. Eventhough I totally agree with disposing of the Taliban, knocking out Al Qaida's training camps and rounding up Saddam and his cronies......which is counter to the premise of this article......I still enjoyed reading it immensely. Good job!

Thanks all, but just so no one is misled, I was pro the bombings in afghanistan because it probably killed bin laden (we're yet to see him) and destabilized al qaeda. how we conducted all our wars is another matter.