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BREAKING NEWS!!!


DanRather
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We interrupt "Everybody Loves Redmond" to bring you the following

 

Good evening, I'm Dan Rather, we have BREAKING NEWS this evening ,this just in to CBS news desk!. The Roger Dean ghost as it's been called in the little town of Jupiter, Florida has been spotted with the latest technology we have available from NASA. It's being reported they now have images of a young man running the bases of Roger Dean Stadium, Spring Training home of the Marlins and "Some other team," at night. He has a long beard, a two sizes too small white t-shirt with red rings around the neck and sleeves that reads, "Nabisco" on the front. And apparently ripped and stained boxer shorts that have images of bats ans gloves scattered throughout the material with the glow-in -the -dark words, "Catch this" repeated in several locations on the underclothing. NASA spokesperson, Rick Zunuvagun stated that this glowing feature is how he was discovered. Zunuvagun also remarked that he apperantly steals some soap from the stadium restrooms to bathe while running the bases during sprinkler nights.

 

This information is pouring into the CBS newsroom at this very moment... There is word through several sources that this individual could and very well might be the infamous "PlayAtThePlate" from the extremely popular Marlin's Fan web site marlinsbaseball.com. Another informant from the Jupiter police helicopter unit has reported seeing this same individual through their night vision equipment, wearing a President George W. Bush mask on top of his head instead of on his face, therefore blocking out facial features from above. But they have noticed a beard that started out with the Tom Brady, Justin Tinkerbell look and now has grown to below the rib cage indicting that his probably been roaming the area for some time. Possibly awaiting pitchers and catchers?

 

Wiilard and Gail, nearby residents in the the neighborhood surrounding the ballpark have awakened to the sounds of Elvis Presley coming from the PA system of the stadium! "It wuz amazin'!! Gail wuzza pokin' me in the back, justa a hollarin' and a moanin'!! It's Elvis, Willie! It's Elvis!

 

Mr. Presley wuz a singin' "Love Me Tender" It was like a gift from heaven ?bove! Comin' frum our littl' ballpark! It wuz lak he wuzzu speakin' right to Gail and I! Frum du PA of Roger "Jimmy Damn" Dean uh Stadium..woooweee I thought she gots a hold of my Veragra pills the Doc gave me to keep the General salutin', if ya knows what I means Dan! Hehehehawhawha.

 

Marlin's owner, Jefferey Loria had no comment, but President, David Samson did remark on the situation. "We no that someone has be using the computers in our Stadium offices at night. So this may be the this Play at the Plate person, because the web sites that are being used are the WILDLY POPULAR marlinsbaseball.com operated by my good friend Mr. Admin Walansky. Also hotmail and Ebay were used." We had some grounds-crew and nearby business's report to us that they have seen a individual with a beard and strange soiled t-shirt, loitering by stadium dumpsters and living on unfinished popcorn handouts from nearby theater customers.

 

We will of course continue to bring you the latest up to date coverage on this news from Jupiter, Florida. Further analysis availabele on CBSNews.com. This is Dan Rather reporting CBS news New york. We now return to "Everybody Loves Redmond"

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Do you know this individual? We're setting up a panel of guests including Senator Dole and the couple from Jupiter...

 

Let me know MAXXX..

 

I've noticed something since I've been here...it's possible that aside from the Senator...this board needs a sense of humor implant! loooosen up for cripes sake!! I'm an old man!!!!

 

I may do a story on this!

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