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Stupid Criminals

Featured Replies

A man walked into a convenience stores and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, asking for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the robber pulled out a gun, demanding all the cash in the register. Quickly, the clerk acquiesced and the man fled, leaving the twenty on the counter. The total amount of money he got from the cash register was less than fifteen dollars.

  • Author

Oklahoma City, OK

Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manage testified that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, " I should have blown your f***ing head off" The defendant paused then added "If I had been the one that was there." The jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty and recommended a sentence of thirty years.

  • Author

A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.

  • Author

Flint, Michigan

A man in a hooded jacket approached a gas station clerk with a gun and demanded all the money. The clerk complied. When the robber returned to his home, police were there waiting. The jacket the man wore during the hold up was his high school varsity jacket. It had his full name and year he graduated.

  • Author

Virginia

A man walked into his local convenience store and placed a gun on the cashier's temple. The man demanded all the money, which he received, and then left. On his way out, the thief shot himself in the arm.

  • Author

Columbus, Georgia

A man decided he wanted to be quick, so he jumped out of his car, ran in the store and demanded the money. After getting about two hundred dollars, he ran back out to his car. He realized that he had left his car running. He also realized that he had locked the doors.

  • Author

A masked bandit went into a gast station intending to rob it. Not wanting reveal his voice, he wrote a note to a cashier demanding all the money. As the man had a gun, the cashier had no choice. When the suspect left, the cashier looked on the back of the paper. It was the man's subpoena; it contained his name, address, and phone number.

  • Author

Old Bridge New Jersey

In the middle of a blizzard, a New Jersey high school student decided it would be a good idea to rob the local 7-11. He walked to the store with a gun and stole $50. He walked back to his home, which was less than a mile away. The police followed the footprints to the young man's front door and arrested him.

  • Author

New York

As a woman exited her local convenience store, her pursed was snatched by a fleeting man. The clerk promptly called 911 and the woman gave a detailed description of the suspect. Within minutes, the police apprehended the alleged snatcher. They took him back to the store and told him to stand there for a positive ID. The man did as was told and said: "Yes officer, that's the woman I stole the purse from."

  • Author

Two men assaulted a convenience store runner. Rather than demanding money, the took the whole cash drawer. As they ran, the did not realized they were leaving a trail of coins. A few hours later, police followed the trail and arrested the two men.

  • Author

A robber walking into a convenience store a demanded all the money. The cashier noticed he did not have a bag so she instinctively asked "Paper or Plastic?" The thief replied paper and left the store--without the bag

  • Author

After robbing a convenience store, two teen-age boys were chased by a group of police. Desperately trying to escape, the boys climbed over a high chain-link fence. The cops chose not to follow, but they did notify the authorities inside. The boys had climbed into the state correctional facility.

  • Author

Tampa, Florida

From an alley, a burglar climbed to the roof of a convenience store. Thinking it would be a good idea to break in through the roof, he cut a hole for him to enter through. He botched the job, however, and fell through the ceiling on top of a coffee pot. The man had not realized that the store was opened twenty-four hours a day. A police officer was standing at the pot fixing a cup of coffee.

  • Author

A man and his girlfriend were robbing a convenience store. While waiting for her boyfriend to finish getting the money, the woman noticed a contest entry form. Thinking it would be cool to win, she filled out the form complete with her name, address, and phone number. A few hours later the police were at the couple's house to arrest them.

  • Author

Virginia Beach

A man robbed a 7-11 and made his getaway on foot. He ran through the woods, but the police had no trouble catching him. He was wearing a pair of LA Gears--the kind that light up.

  • Author

A robber walks into a store handing the cashier a note saying"Put all the money in a paper sack." The cashier rights back"I don't have a paper sack." Then the robber just walked out of the store feeling stupid and eventually got arrested.

  • Author

Kentucky

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the panel off the machine, however, they pulled the bumper off the truck. Scared, they left the scene of the crime. Their bumper, along with their license plate was still attached to the ATM.

  • Author

A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty-bag over his face to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the mask and was tackled by a brave customer.

  • Author

Virginia

Two men went to a new subdivision and decided to steal a refrigerator. Destroying walls and floors, they snatched a fridge from one of the houses and placed it on the back of their pickup truck. At that time, the truck became bogged down in the mud. The men decided the refrigerator was too heavy so they put it back in the house. When they returned to the truck, they realized the keys had been left in the ignition and the doors were lock. They left the running truck at the scene of the crime.

  • Author

Belgium

A man in Belgium was arrested because police suspected that he had robbed a jewelry store. The man swore he did not do it. When the police asked if he had an alibi, he explained that he had been busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police dropped the jewelry store charges and instead arrested him for breaking into the school.

  • Author

Virginia

A man on a bicycle approached three well-dressed men with what appeared to be a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun. As the man demanded money, the three gentlemen--off-duty federal agents--drew their weapons and fired more than 20 shots. Along with the would-be robber, three cars, a truck, two homes, and an office building suffered bullet wounds. The injured suspect's weapon turned out to be a pellet gun.

  • Author

Tennessee

In April 1995 a gunman walked into what he thought to be a bank and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He did not realize that the bank had closed the previous August and an insurance company had moved in. When he realized his error, he quickly left after stealing $127 from two workers.

  • 1 month later...

Funny s*** dude.

Flint, Michigan

A man in a hooded jacket approached a gas station clerk with a gun and demanded all the money. The clerk complied. When the robber returned to his home, police were there waiting. The jacket the man wore during the hold up was his high school varsity jacket. It had his full name and year he graduated.

429816[/snapback]

 

 

Was that Michael Moore???

  • Author

Flint, Michigan

A man in a hooded jacket approached a gas station clerk with a gun and demanded all the money. The clerk complied. When the robber returned to his home, police were there waiting. The jacket the man wore during the hold up was his high school varsity jacket. It had his full name and year he graduated.

429816[/snapback]

 

 

Was that Michael Moore???

492263[/snapback]

Probably! :lol

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