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The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

 

 

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

 

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

 

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?

A: Always wear a condom.

 

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your car.

 

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too s***-faced to find your keys.

 

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

 

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

 

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

 

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

 

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.

 

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

A: Carry loaded weapons.

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