Bob is in the locker room at the gym and he notices the guy at a locker nearby has a cork in his ass. Bob asks the guy about it and the guy tells him:

 

"I found this dusty old oil lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and said since I freed him from the lamp, he would grant me one wish. So I said, no s***?"

 

 

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Jim and Joe had known each other since they were kids. They absolutely hated each other and had been competing with each other for years. They competed in school, in sports, and with girls. If one of them got something, the other had to get a bigger, better, or more expensive one.

 

One day Jim was walking in the park and he found a dirty old bottle. When he rubbed off some of the dirt, a Genie popped out and told him:

 

"I am the Genie of the lamp. In gratitute for your freeing me from this prison, I will grant you three wishes. But you must also be wary of greed, so since I know of your competitiveness with Joe, anything you wish for, Joe will get twice as much."

 

So Jim gives this some thought. He certainly wants his three wishes granted, but does he really want Joe to come out ahead? After a few minutes of thinking about it, Jim decides on his wishes.

 

Jim tells the Genie, "For my first wish, I wish I had 5 billion dollars."

"Very well. And Joe shall have 10 billion." the Genie replies.

Then Jim says, " for my second wish, I wish I had a 40 foot yacht."

"And Joe shall have an 80 foot yacht." the Genie says and then asks, "And for your third wish?

"Well," Jim says, "For my third wish, I wish you would beat me half to death."

Jim and Joe had known each other since they were kids. They absolutely hated each other and had been competing with each other for years. They competed in school, in sports, and with girls. If one of them got something, the other had to get a bigger, better, or more expensive one.

 

One day Jim was walking in the park and he found a dirty old bottle. When he rubbed off some of the dirt, a Genie popped out and told him:

 

"I am the Genie of the lamp. In gratitute for your freeing me from this prison, I will grant you three wishes. But you must also be wary of greed, so since I know of your competitiveness with Joe, anything you wish for, Joe will get twice as much."

 

So Jim gives this some thought. He certainly wants his three wishes granted, but does he really want Joe to come out ahead? After a few minutes of thinking about it, Jim decides on his wishes.

 

Jim tells the Genie, "For my first wish, I wish I had 5 billion dollars."

"Very well. And Joe shall have 10 billion." the Genie replies.

Then Jim says, " for my second wish, I wish I had a 40 foot yacht."

"And Joe shall have an 80 foot yacht." the Genie says and then asks, "And for your third wish?

"Well," Jim says, "For my third wish, I wish you would beat me half to death."

445700[/snapback]

Joe got pwned.

Jim and Joe had known each other since they were kids. They absolutely hated each other and had been competing with each other for years. They competed in school, in sports, and with girls. If one of them got something, the other had to get a bigger, better, or more expensive one.

 

One day Jim was walking in the park and he found a dirty old bottle. When he rubbed off some of the dirt, a Genie popped out and told him:

 

"I am the Genie of the lamp. In gratitute for your freeing me from this prison, I will grant you three wishes. But you must also be wary of greed, so since I know of your competitiveness with Joe, anything you wish for, Joe will get twice as much."

 

So Jim gives this some thought. He certainly wants his three wishes granted, but does he really want Joe to come out ahead? After a few minutes of thinking about it, Jim decides on his wishes.

 

Jim tells the Genie, "For my first wish, I wish I had 5 billion dollars."

"Very well. And Joe shall have 10 billion." the Genie replies.

Then Jim says, " for my second wish, I wish I had a 40 foot yacht."

"And Joe shall have an 80 foot yacht." the Genie says and then asks, "And for your third wish?

"Well," Jim says, "For my third wish, I wish you would beat me half to death."

445700[/snapback]

Joe got pwned.

446111[/snapback]

:lol :lol