GABLES BARBIE: This Barbie is sold only at Bloomingdales or Merrick Park. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey. Available with or without tummytuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with augmented version.

 

DORAL BARBIE: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Chrysler minivan, cookie-cutter house, country club membership and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

 

HOMESTEAD BARBIE: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9 mm hand gun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can be paid for only in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills (unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about). Also available with a mobile home.

 

BRICKELL BARBIE: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Volvo wagon. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards, French pedicure and exclusive gym membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

 

BROWARD BARBIE: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety-Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick Mullet-Haired Ken's ass when she's drunk. purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

 

BOCA BARBIE: This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print bikini, Jimmy Choo slides and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at her custom, 12,000 sq. ft. House. Shallow Ken can be found in the cabana making out with Jail Bait Skipper. Percocet prescription included.

 

KENDALL BARBIE: This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Hialeah Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top.

 

COCONUT GROVE BARBIE: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Coconut Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a free rainbow flag sticker.

 

HIALEAH BARBIE: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Hialeah Barbie speaks no English, has a lifetime membership to Sedanos Supermarket and has the raft on which she arrived bronzed and on display in her front yard alongside the Saint Lazaro statue.

 

KEY BISCAYNE BARBIE: With frosted blonde hair and a French manicure,

she's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or golfing.

 

SOUTH BEACH BARBIE/KEN: This versatile doll can be easily converted from

Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple Snap-On parts.

HOMESTEAD BARBIE: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9 mm hand gun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can be paid for only in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills (unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about). Also available with a mobile home.

 

 

SOUTH BEACH BARBIE/KEN: This versatile doll can be easily converted from

Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple Snap-On parts.

603491[/snapback]

 

:lol

 

Those are great

HOMESTEAD BARBIE: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9 mm hand gun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can be paid for only in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills (unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about). Also available with a mobile home.

 

 

SOUTH BEACH BARBIE/KEN: This versatile doll can be easily converted from

Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple Snap-On parts.

603491[/snapback]

 

:lol

 

Those are great

603503[/snapback]

:lol :lol