Posted June 4, 200519 yr > Here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New > Englanders: > > If you consider it a sport to gather your food > by > drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting > there > all day hoping it will swim by, you might live > in New > England. > > If you're proud that your region makes the > national > news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington > is the > coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets > more snow > than any other major city in the US, you live > in New > England. > > If your local Dairy Queen is closed from > September > through May, you live in New England. > > If you instinctively walk like a penguin for > six > months out of the year, you live in New > England. > > If someone in a Home Depot store offers you > assistance, and they don't work there, you live > in New > England. > > If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same > time, > you live in New England. > > If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation > with > someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in > New > England. > > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NEW ENGLANDER WHEN: > > "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New > York City > for the weekend. > > You measure distance in hours. > > You know several people who have hit a deer > more than > once. > > You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the > same > day, and back again. > > You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow > during a > raging blizzard without flinching. > > You install security lights on your house and > garage, > but leave both unlocked. > > You carry jumper cables in your car and your > girlfriend/wife knows how to use them. > > You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit > over a > snowsuit. > > Driving is better in the winter because the > potholes > are filled with snow. > > You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, > still > winter, and road construction. > > Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue > of a > deer next to your blue spruce. > > "Down South" to you means Philadelphia. > > Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his > new > shed. > > Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors ! due > to > frost. > > You have more miles on your snow blower than > your car. > > You find 10 degrees "a little chilly." > > You actually understand these jokes, and > forward them > to all your New England friends. >
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