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ha ha ha ha

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A man fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn and heatstroke. He was taken to the hospital where his skin was a bright red, painful and started to blister. Anything that touched him caused agony. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative, and Viagra. "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" the nurse inquired. The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off of him."

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What's a perfect breakfast?

You're sitting at the table and you're on the cover of Forbes.

Your son is on the box of Wheaties.

Your mistress is on the cover of Playboy.

Your wife is on the back of the milk carton

What's a perfect breakfast?

You're sitting at the table and you're on the cover of Forbes.

Your son is on the box of Wheaties.

Your mistress is on the cover of Playboy.

Your wife is on the back of the milk carton

 

lmao :lol

heh

  • 4 months later...
  • Author

A team of archeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall. The head archeologist points to the first drawing. "This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem." he says. "The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews." The second archeologist shakes his head. "Sorry, Doc. You've got it wrong. Hebrew is read from right to left," he explains. "It really says, 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'"

 

:blink:

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