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Blonde


yenta
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Tom, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

 

The blonde looked at Tom and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Tom says, "You know, I bet he'll jump.

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

 

Tom placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, plummeting to his death.

The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Tom, saying, "Fair's fair.

Here's your money.

Tom replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and so I knew he would jump.

 

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

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>> Origin of the expression

"Kiss My Ass"

>>

>> It was in the great market in ancient Rome that Marcus Brutus Goldstein, a poor tailor, made Togas and sold them at his stall in the marketplace.

>> As was his wont, he shouted out his wares for sale.

>> "Togas! - Finest Togas in all Rome!" he would shout, but alas, business was not good.

>> Finally, a friend suggested that since the weather was getting rather cold, he could increase business by lining the garments with a fine quality wool lining.

>> Marcus agreed and proceeded to line his Togas using the finest quality Kashmir lining.

And so, from that day forward, he could be heard loudly and proudly proclaiming throughout the marketplace,

 

>> "Kashmir in togas."

 

 

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Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.

 

However, what you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Condolezza Rice, Alberto Gonzalez, Ann Coulter and Dan Quayle were all born.

 

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep. This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

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