This is the type of cynical comments from newspapers columnists that are really uncalled for. Perfect trash for this morning's garbage collection. Here is the LINK

 

Hook Marlins if you want wage earners

 

By Frank Cerabino, Palm Beach Post Columnist

Friday, November 7, 2003

 

Are we just going to sit there and let Miami give the Florida Marlins a new stadium?

 

Where is our "Best of Everything" attitude in Palm Beach County?

 

We didn't get to lead the nation in Viagra prescriptions per capita by taking things lying down.

 

OK, maybe that wasn't a good way to phrase it. But you get the point. The team that just won baseball's World Series is looking for a public handout from some community in South Florida.

 

So why shouldn't it be us?

 

When The Scripps Research Institute talked of a new Palm Beach County lab if we would come up with $140 million to sweeten the deal, we said "One hundred forty million? No way! We'll give you $200 million."

 

That's just the kind of big-hearted folks we are. And we have no idea what those beady-eyed little research scientists even do.

 

But we all understand baseball, even though it might be for some only marginally more interesting than watching a guy in a lab coat mess with a human genome. (Don't ask. I don't know what it is either.)

 

The point is -- and there is a point here, believe me -- if we hand out money to companies who bring high-paying jobs to the area, then what better enterprise is there to bribe than a baseball team?

 

Even a light-hitting, bench-warming middle infielder makes more money than a journal-published chemist. Think of Pudge Rodriguez and his $10 million annual salary as a one-man wing of microbiologists.

 

So we should be embracing the Marlins with a free retractable-dome stadium on a plot of environmentally sensitive swampland that is just going to waste now with a bunch of birds and animals who, frankly, haven't been pulling their weight in the all-important hotel-room-bookings category.

 

It's the least we could do -- even if we don't really want the Marlins and suspect that once they lose three games in a row next April, their home attendance will look like a Green Party state convention.

 

At this point, we need to offer the Marlins a couple hundred million dollars just to save face.

 

That's because Miami, our wacky cousin to the south, has already thrown $73 million on the table -- presumably in U.S. currency.

 

And you know Miami probably can't afford it. But Miami did it, because, well, there's a lot of civic pride in Miami, and besides, things have slowed down to a crawl outside Elian's old house.

 

So far, the only peep heard from Palm Beach County has been from Don King, who owns the building that used to be the Palm Beach Jai Alai Fronton off 45th Street in Mangonia Park.

 

Understandably, the Marlins have not jumped at a chance to work with King. I can envision the public relations nightmare when King invites boxer Mike Tyson to participate in the pre-game ceremonies.

 

"No, Mike," the announcer will say. "You're supposed to throw out the first pitch."

 

We can't let that happen. We need another one of those emergency meetings of the Palm Beach County Commission, when they give about 10 minutes notice and then approve some huge giveaway in the spirit of Iraq-invasion-style faith in the best-case scenario.

 

We could work out the details later. Surely, we must have another $100 million rolling around someplace.

 

If not, we could always sell a few schools. After all, teachers aren't the kind of high-paid wage earners we want to encourage around here.

And you know Miami probably can't afford it. But Miami did it, because, well, there's a lot of civic pride in Miami, and besides, things have slowed down to a crawl outside Elian's old house.

 

I don't know why but I found that line extremely funny. :lol

I only WISH Palm Beach County would step up to the plate. (pun intended)

well, frank cerabino is the post's version of dave barry. he's a humor columnist. i don't think it was uncalled for... the dude is just trying to get some laughs. dave barry is a lot worse to the marlins.

There is a difference though: Dave Barry is funny.

dave barry is a lot worse to the marlins.

You're kidding, right?

dave barry is a lot worse to the marlins.

You're kidding, right? this article barely attacked the marlins. i've read a number of "critical" barry columns. eh, i guess it's how you gauge it. to tell you the truth, i don't find either particularly offensive to the marlins. they're doing their job.

me neither this not offensive to the marlins. He is praticly beggin Palm to try and get the marlins thats all. Yeah he does make some remarks about Dade county but he's not offensive to the marlins. He just wants the stadium to be built in Palm beach.

me neither this not offensive to the marlins. He is praticly beggin Palm to try and get the marlins thats all. Yeah he does make some remarks about Dade county but he's not offensive to the marlins. He just wants the stadium to be built in Palm beach.

I know he is not particularly offensive toward the Marlins but overly cynical in his comments when describing Miami. You know, using the old line of the "Banana Republic of Miami" type of thing... I guess he is also being ironic about the way Palm Beach handles its business... so, in other words, the guy is just being a buffoon... :thumbdown

cant we just get along?