November 26, 200322 yr Enjoy!!! A man walks into a store and asks the clerk for a blue and red shirt, the the clerk asks "are you a cubs fan?" and the man replies "yes, how did you know?" "because this is a hardware store!" Three men were on death row a marlin, cardinal, and a cub. As the marlin was waiting to get executed by the firing squad he yells "earthquake!" and escapes, the cardinal waits for his turn and yells "flood!" he too escapes, the cubs fan remembers what the other two did and as he was waiting he yells "fire!" Why did the cub cross the road? because its easier then crossing homeplate If you have a car containing a cub 2nd baseman, shortstop, and right fielder, whos driving the car? the cop. What do you call a cub wearing a suit and tie? the defendant. Did you hear about the big power outage at Wrigley Field 20 cubs were stuck on an escalator for 3 hours. A marlin, a cardinal, a d-back, and a cub were climbing up a mountain. The d-back showed his true devotion by jumping off the cliff to his doom screaming "this is for arizona!", the cardinal not wanting to be out done did the same shouting "the is for st louis!" the marlin said "this is for everyone!" and pushed the cub off the cliff. "It's hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness."--Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher "Noise pollution can't be that much of a problem. There's nothing to cheer about."--State rep. John F. Dunn, arguing for the installation of lights at Wrigley Field "If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic."--Whitey Herzog "There's nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn't help."--Bill Buckner "You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard."--Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season. "The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter."--Radio deejay "The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets."--Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman "Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning."--Radio deejay "One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth."--Joe Garagiola "The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street--a lot of singles, but no action."--Garagiola again Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup? A: Two sips and then you choke. "The latest diet is better than the Pritikin Diet. You eat only when the Cubs win."--pianist George Shearing
November 26, 200322 yr Enjoy!!! A man walks into a store and asks the clerk for a blue and red shirt, the the clerk asks "are you a cubs fan?" and the man replies "yes, how did you know?" "because this is a hardware store!" Three men were on death row a marlin, cardinal, and a cub. As the marlin was waiting to get executed by the firing squad he yells "earthquake!" and escapes, the cardinal waits for his turn and yells "flood!" he too escapes, the cubs fan remembers what the other two did and as he was waiting he yells "fire!" Why did the cub cross the road? because its easier then crossing homeplate If you have a car containing a cub 2nd baseman, shortstop, and right fielder, whos driving the car? the cop. What do you call a cub wearing a suit and tie? the defendant. Did you hear about the big power outage at Wrigley Field 20 cubs were stuck on an escalator for 3 hours. A marlin, a cardinal, a d-back, and a cub were climbing up a mountain. The d-back showed his true devotion by jumping off the cliff to his doom screaming "this is for arizona!", the cardinal not wanting to be out done did the same shouting "the is for st louis!" the marlin said "this is for everyone!" and pushed the cub off the cliff. "It's hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness."--Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher "Noise pollution can't be that much of a problem. There's nothing to cheer about."--State rep. John F. Dunn, arguing for the installation of lights at Wrigley Field "If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic."--Whitey Herzog "There's nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn't help."--Bill Buckner "You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard."--Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season. "The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter."--Radio deejay "The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets."--Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman "Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning."--Radio deejay "One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth."--Joe Garagiola "The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street--a lot of singles, but no action."--Garagiola again Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup? A: Two sips and then you choke. "The latest diet is better than the Pritikin Diet. You eat only when the Cubs win."--pianist George Shearing I honestly don't get you, man. You have a lot of anger inside of you, and seem to want to vent it on the most undeserving subjects. To each his own, I guess, but it looks very self-defeating of you. Was an abusive father a Cub fan? Did Jerome Walton knock up your sister? What gives?
November 26, 200322 yr Enjoy!!! A man walks into a store and asks the clerk for a blue and red shirt, the the clerk asks "are you a cubs fan?" and the man replies "yes, how did you know?" "because this is a hardware store!" Three men were on death row a marlin, cardinal, and a cub. As the marlin was waiting to get executed by the firing squad he yells "earthquake!" and escapes, the cardinal waits for his turn and yells "flood!" he too escapes, the cubs fan remembers what the other two did and as he was waiting he yells "fire!" Why did the cub cross the road? because its easier then crossing homeplate If you have a car containing a cub 2nd baseman, shortstop, and right fielder, whos driving the car? the cop. What do you call a cub wearing a suit and tie? the defendant. Did you hear about the big power outage at Wrigley Field 20 cubs were stuck on an escalator for 3 hours. A marlin, a cardinal, a d-back, and a cub were climbing up a mountain. The d-back showed his true devotion by jumping off the cliff to his doom screaming "this is for arizona!", the cardinal not wanting to be out done did the same shouting "the is for st louis!" the marlin said "this is for everyone!" and pushed the cub off the cliff. "It's hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness."--Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher "Noise pollution can't be that much of a problem. There's nothing to cheer about."--State rep. John F. Dunn, arguing for the installation of lights at Wrigley Field "If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic."--Whitey Herzog "There's nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn't help."--Bill Buckner "You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard."--Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season. "The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter."--Radio deejay "The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets."--Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman "Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning."--Radio deejay "One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth."--Joe Garagiola "The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street--a lot of singles, but no action."--Garagiola again Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup? A: Two sips and then you choke. "The latest diet is better than the Pritikin Diet. You eat only when the Cubs win."--pianist George Shearing I honestly don't get you, man. You have a lot of anger inside of you, and seem to want to vent it on the most undeserving subjects. To each his own, I guess, but it looks very self-defeating of you. Was an abusive father a Cub fan? Did Jerome Walton knock up your sister? What gives?Nah...I think he's only doing what we White Sox fans have been doing all along. Seems to me he's normal. Marlins2003...thanks for the morning humor.
November 26, 200322 yr Author I honestly don't get you, man. You have a lot of anger inside of you, and seem to want to vent it on the most undeserving subjects. To each his own, I guess, but it looks very self-defeating of you. Was an abusive father a Cub fan? Did Jerome Walton knock up your sister? What gives? Exactly yhe type of response one can expect from a Cubs fan. I rest my case. The worst fans in baseball.
November 27, 200322 yr I honestly don't get you, man. You have a lot of anger inside of you, and seem to want to vent it on the most undeserving subjects. To each his own, I guess, but it looks very self-defeating of you. Was an abusive father a Cub fan? Did Jerome Walton knock up your sister? What gives? Exactly yhe type of response one can expect from a Cubs fan. I rest my case. The worst fans in baseball. Not much of a case if you ask me. That kind of bulls*** only works in a sunny climate. Otherwise, it just freezes and lays there like a lead balloon. We're drunk, we're stupid, whatever. f***in' stereotypes. Don't make any law school plans yet, buddy. (or ma'am)
November 27, 200322 yr MARLINS 2003 All I gotta say is, THANKS MAN ... I couldve used a good laugh and this worked! And guys this is just fun....no need to get all uptight over it.
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