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My Dog


cgator
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Everybody who has a dog calls him 'Rover' or 'Spot' I made the mistake of calling mine 'Sex'.

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, 'I'd like to have one too!' Then I said, 'But this is for a dog.' He said, 'I don't care what she looks like.' Then I said, 'You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old.' He said, 'You must have been quite a kid.'

 

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, 'You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.' The clerk said, 'Me too.'

 

One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, Another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert.

 

I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said, 'I've come for my dog.' She said, 'Which one, Spot or Rover?' I said, 'What about Sex?' She slapped me. After I straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.

 

Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages the operator came up to me. I said I'm looking for Sex. He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

 

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, 'Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.' He said, 'What's your point, so did I.' I said, 'But my wife wants to take Sex away.' He said, 'That's what happens in a divorce.'

 

Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, 'What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?' I said I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up on Friday.

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